Hello, everyone. I'm back with another round of Random Thoughts for the week, so let's get to it. Enjoy.
- I was saying in my status/mood thing at one point that I was going to take a different tone in this particular entry, and I was going to do something I had never done before in all the years of journaling and blogging. After some very careful consideration of what might happen as a result and one specific event that occurred within the last day or so, I've decided against it. I have to admit, it wasn't something I probably should have even considered doing, but the temptation was there and I almost succumbed to it...almost. All I can say is that I thank the Lord for my better judgment taking over before I did something potentially stupid.
- What was the thing I was going to do, you ask? Well, this is hard for me to admit and even for many of you to believe, but I was actually going to publicly "hate" on somebody for something that happened during my first go-round in college...hence the "dark side" subtitle for this blog today. Hating is something I'm not known for or even something I really want to do, but I was tempted to vengeance by the relative safety of the current day to attempt to strike at somebody from the past who did me wrong in a big way. That person was one of my roommates in the dorms named Tim. Around this time 15 years ago, I was engaged to a girl (yes, engaged), had a decent campus job that seemed to be going well, and was in the process of recovering from a decline in my school grades. Over the span of the next year or so, that all fell apart and this person was a major factor in it. Without going into any specific detail, he did some things that have scarred me to this day. Now, I know a lot of people would have probably gotten over such stuff by now, but what he did really hurt me and led to activities and habits I still do (not good ones or ones that really help). It may sound like I'm putting a lot of eggs in one basket in saying that this one specific person is responsible for pain in my life, but he had too much of a hand in those things for me to ignore. I know a few of you knew me around that time, but you probably didn't know about what this guy did because I wasn't comfortable back in that day talking about it nor was I capable of doing so (I did a lot of avoidance back then). This is also a major factor into the unrevealed issue I've been alluding to, and while typing this blurb up I realized that in acknowledging my pain in regard to what this guy did I may have discovered an unconscious motivation to want to better myself...a screwy-sounding motivation, but one that might do me some good.
- Even though I was tempted to indulge in my 'dark side' in doing the "hating" thing (the payback I had in mind was going to be comedic), there's a lot going good for me now that I would have risked by doing what I was thinking of doing. Actually, a lot of that good was a big factor in what steered me away from doing it. I have changed so much since that first go-round in college. I've been blessed with friendships with so many of you that grow by the day that continue to amaze and delight and I've got Jesus in my life. Those two things alone do amazing things for me, but there is other stuff that is good for me too. I don't want to lose any of that stuff just for my own thoughts of pettiness that will pass on their own. Another factor was that specific event I mentioned earlier...that concerned somebody I know getting left behind by people this person called friends but people I now believe may not be such friends after this went down. Even in the worst of times people should not leave their friends behind. I don't want what happened to me 15 years ago to happen to people I care about even in the slightest, and if there's anything I can do to help in preventing this type of stuff from happening I will do so.
- Now in talking about my 'dark side', so to speak, I'm reminded of a phenomenon that happens to me from time to time and to many I know including here on Myspace. Sometimes we hear about and see things in the people around us that don't seem to make sense, that seem out of place or out of character, even in those we've known for years and even decades. It throws us off in how we deal with them or gets us to question how well we know these people, sometimes to the point where a friendship or relationship is seriously threatened and causing us to look over our shoulders when dealing. This was evident for me in 2000 when I had my issues that led me to therapy...some people from that time, as I've noted before, still seem wary of me because of that even though things (and I) are different now. To lesser degrees, I have seen it happen to so many other people. It is understandable...the unknown can seem very dangerous, and we have a responsibility to keep ourselves safe from things and people that might hurt us. At the same time, we also have responsibilities to the people we care about to be there for them even if things are off-kilter or outright wrong. We don't always know everything there is to know about people...ususally we only know what we desire and choose to know about any particular person. I have a couple of suggestions on how to deal in these particular circumstances, whether you are questioning someone you know or you might be the one being focused on for your behavior. One, go with your gut instinct on these things, especially if there are no concrete details why things are going the way they are. It might be something that can't be helped, or things aren't going right generally, or any number of reasons. Unless it's something that is completely horrifying, gruesome, or knowingly betraying, don't just throw things like friendships or relationships away over something that might not deserve that outcome as a result. Second, and most important, have faith in the people around you. They do care, and I'm pretty sure you care as well. Our faith in people does get tested from time to time...it happens, so don't deny it. We can choose to believe in what's wrong in people, or we can put faith in the potential that everything will turn out all right. That's a choice we have all made before and probably will have to make again. I'm not speaking of any specific person or current situation that's going on right now (I don't know of any right now), but this is a phenomenon I wanted to note since it was on my mind while typing this up.
- Speaking of faith, I want to plug my church home, Crossroads World Christian Center. Go check out it's website at www.crossroadswcc.org.
- I've had a pretty eventful week. I went to a cookout on Memorial Day and reconnected wth one friend, made one new friend, and had a good time with the rest of them that came to the cookout. I also stopped up at Club Polaris early Friday evening (not late night...early evening after an afternoon drive) to hang out with some people there. Last night I went up to Screaming Willies where I saw an old friend for the first time in 10 years and had somewhat of a decent time thanks to my friends who came up including a couple of them I didn't expect but was pleasantly surprised to see. The weather has been ideal (with a couple of exceptions) so I've been getting out a bit more. After I blog here tonight I'm gonna go outside and enjoy the weather some more.
- Check out the OC Dancers website that my crew runs. I've put up some more activities in the general Columbus area like festivals and stuff like that. Others are planning trips to the Smokies and Universal Studios Florida, and we always update on the clubs we go to and are affiliated with us in some fashion as well as some member activities. Go check it out if you haven't been there yet: ocdancers.webs.com.
- The Cleveland Cavaliers are out of the NBA playoffs yet again. If Lebron James would just stop wasting the 24-second clock dribbling and the supporting cast would actually move around instead of wait for James to do something, the outcome would have probably been different.
- Last week I went up to Alum Creek State Park to the beach. I never thought I'd see a day where I would wade in the water and talk on my cell phone at the same time. These are amazing times we live in.
- Song on repeat: "Time 4 Sum Aksion" by Redman. Great upbeat dance song and potential entrance music...can't get much better than that.
- SLP for the following: Kevin, Kristin, Stan, Jay, Holly, Patrick J, Anna, Joe (the deejay), Griff, Cheryl, Ernest, Rahn, Adrian, Dark Joey, Brandon, and Pastor Cory.
That's it for this week. Summer is upon us, and I for one will be getting out to enjoy it. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
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- I was saying in my status/mood thing at one point that I was going to take a different tone in this particular entry, and I was going to do something I had never done before in all the years of journaling and blogging. After some very careful consideration of what might happen as a result and one specific event that occurred within the last day or so, I've decided against it. I have to admit, it wasn't something I probably should have even considered doing, but the temptation was there and I almost succumbed to it...almost. All I can say is that I thank the Lord for my better judgment taking over before I did something potentially stupid.
- What was the thing I was going to do, you ask? Well, this is hard for me to admit and even for many of you to believe, but I was actually going to publicly "hate" on somebody for something that happened during my first go-round in college...hence the "dark side" subtitle for this blog today. Hating is something I'm not known for or even something I really want to do, but I was tempted to vengeance by the relative safety of the current day to attempt to strike at somebody from the past who did me wrong in a big way. That person was one of my roommates in the dorms named Tim. Around this time 15 years ago, I was engaged to a girl (yes, engaged), had a decent campus job that seemed to be going well, and was in the process of recovering from a decline in my school grades. Over the span of the next year or so, that all fell apart and this person was a major factor in it. Without going into any specific detail, he did some things that have scarred me to this day. Now, I know a lot of people would have probably gotten over such stuff by now, but what he did really hurt me and led to activities and habits I still do (not good ones or ones that really help). It may sound like I'm putting a lot of eggs in one basket in saying that this one specific person is responsible for pain in my life, but he had too much of a hand in those things for me to ignore. I know a few of you knew me around that time, but you probably didn't know about what this guy did because I wasn't comfortable back in that day talking about it nor was I capable of doing so (I did a lot of avoidance back then). This is also a major factor into the unrevealed issue I've been alluding to, and while typing this blurb up I realized that in acknowledging my pain in regard to what this guy did I may have discovered an unconscious motivation to want to better myself...a screwy-sounding motivation, but one that might do me some good.
- Even though I was tempted to indulge in my 'dark side' in doing the "hating" thing (the payback I had in mind was going to be comedic), there's a lot going good for me now that I would have risked by doing what I was thinking of doing. Actually, a lot of that good was a big factor in what steered me away from doing it. I have changed so much since that first go-round in college. I've been blessed with friendships with so many of you that grow by the day that continue to amaze and delight and I've got Jesus in my life. Those two things alone do amazing things for me, but there is other stuff that is good for me too. I don't want to lose any of that stuff just for my own thoughts of pettiness that will pass on their own. Another factor was that specific event I mentioned earlier...that concerned somebody I know getting left behind by people this person called friends but people I now believe may not be such friends after this went down. Even in the worst of times people should not leave their friends behind. I don't want what happened to me 15 years ago to happen to people I care about even in the slightest, and if there's anything I can do to help in preventing this type of stuff from happening I will do so.
- Now in talking about my 'dark side', so to speak, I'm reminded of a phenomenon that happens to me from time to time and to many I know including here on Myspace. Sometimes we hear about and see things in the people around us that don't seem to make sense, that seem out of place or out of character, even in those we've known for years and even decades. It throws us off in how we deal with them or gets us to question how well we know these people, sometimes to the point where a friendship or relationship is seriously threatened and causing us to look over our shoulders when dealing. This was evident for me in 2000 when I had my issues that led me to therapy...some people from that time, as I've noted before, still seem wary of me because of that even though things (and I) are different now. To lesser degrees, I have seen it happen to so many other people. It is understandable...the unknown can seem very dangerous, and we have a responsibility to keep ourselves safe from things and people that might hurt us. At the same time, we also have responsibilities to the people we care about to be there for them even if things are off-kilter or outright wrong. We don't always know everything there is to know about people...ususally we only know what we desire and choose to know about any particular person. I have a couple of suggestions on how to deal in these particular circumstances, whether you are questioning someone you know or you might be the one being focused on for your behavior. One, go with your gut instinct on these things, especially if there are no concrete details why things are going the way they are. It might be something that can't be helped, or things aren't going right generally, or any number of reasons. Unless it's something that is completely horrifying, gruesome, or knowingly betraying, don't just throw things like friendships or relationships away over something that might not deserve that outcome as a result. Second, and most important, have faith in the people around you. They do care, and I'm pretty sure you care as well. Our faith in people does get tested from time to time...it happens, so don't deny it. We can choose to believe in what's wrong in people, or we can put faith in the potential that everything will turn out all right. That's a choice we have all made before and probably will have to make again. I'm not speaking of any specific person or current situation that's going on right now (I don't know of any right now), but this is a phenomenon I wanted to note since it was on my mind while typing this up.
- Speaking of faith, I want to plug my church home, Crossroads World Christian Center. Go check out it's website at www.crossroadswcc.org.
- I've had a pretty eventful week. I went to a cookout on Memorial Day and reconnected wth one friend, made one new friend, and had a good time with the rest of them that came to the cookout. I also stopped up at Club Polaris early Friday evening (not late night...early evening after an afternoon drive) to hang out with some people there. Last night I went up to Screaming Willies where I saw an old friend for the first time in 10 years and had somewhat of a decent time thanks to my friends who came up including a couple of them I didn't expect but was pleasantly surprised to see. The weather has been ideal (with a couple of exceptions) so I've been getting out a bit more. After I blog here tonight I'm gonna go outside and enjoy the weather some more.
- Check out the OC Dancers website that my crew runs. I've put up some more activities in the general Columbus area like festivals and stuff like that. Others are planning trips to the Smokies and Universal Studios Florida, and we always update on the clubs we go to and are affiliated with us in some fashion as well as some member activities. Go check it out if you haven't been there yet: ocdancers.webs.com.
- The Cleveland Cavaliers are out of the NBA playoffs yet again. If Lebron James would just stop wasting the 24-second clock dribbling and the supporting cast would actually move around instead of wait for James to do something, the outcome would have probably been different.
- Last week I went up to Alum Creek State Park to the beach. I never thought I'd see a day where I would wade in the water and talk on my cell phone at the same time. These are amazing times we live in.
- Song on repeat: "Time 4 Sum Aksion" by Redman. Great upbeat dance song and potential entrance music...can't get much better than that.
- SLP for the following: Kevin, Kristin, Stan, Jay, Holly, Patrick J, Anna, Joe (the deejay), Griff, Cheryl, Ernest, Rahn, Adrian, Dark Joey, Brandon, and Pastor Cory.
That's it for this week. Summer is upon us, and I for one will be getting out to enjoy it. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
