Hello and welcome to another set of Random Thoughts from yours truly. I've got a few things to get to this time out, so with that in mind, let's get to it. Enjoy.
- I'm calling this blog the "depression" edition because of a couple of things in the news. Two decently-known celebrities, Walter Koenig (Chekov on the original "Star Trek" series) and Marie Osmond, each had a son who took their own lives in the last week (rest in peace to the both of them). A common denominator in these suicides is that both men suffered from severe depression and probably felt this was the only solution left for them. I'm not gonna wade into the suicide debate but given what's been happening generally in society over the past few years....joblessness, an unsettled economy, general anxiety about the future, to name a few things...I do want to talk a bit about the subject of depression. Everybody gets depressed from time to time, but I am speaking of clinical depression, the type that doesn't go away so quick. Now before I go on talking about this, I have to admit that for the better part of the past couple of decades I've been suffering from long-term clinical depression. I'm reluctant to talk about it because of what depression does to and around me, the affect it's had on my worldview at times, and it's something I really don't want to bring up in a conversation. However, there's a lot of people out there dealing with depression now...either their own or that of a loved one or friend...and that population is growing, so it seems time to get some things out about it. Also before I go on, I want to let my friends and family know that I'm doing okay...I have Jesus, I have things to look forward to (that new beginning, for one), I have my writing and blogging, I've had therapy and learned things to help me manage my issues, and I have people who care that I can go to when I have trouble...and that despite my reluctance on this subject I reached a point a long time ago where I could talk about it if I needed to. With that, let's get into a few things about depression.
Clinical depression is a mental illness and medical condition that is treatable with therapy and sometimes with the assistance of drugs such as Paxil. On the surface, most people associate depression with despondency, letdown, helplessness, and a negative-sounding outlook that people who suffer from this have. Underneath, however, is a whole different story. There is an awful lot of anger and frustration, probably more than that of someone who is considered a "powder keg" or an expressively angry person, with the difference being in how anger and frustration are expressed. One noteworthy result and symptom of depression is the idea of martyrism, or being a "martyr." A martyr is someone who endures suffering or sacrifice on behalf of any person, belief, principle, or cause. Jesus is an example of a martyr, but not the kind I'm talking about here. When depressed people martyr, it's usually expressed through withdrawal from activities, conversations, and people in general. Many who are depressed already have some idea that they are a potential downer and might get in the way of things going good, so they "sacrifice" by withdrawing in the hope that others benefit from it. The depressed believe the people they care about are better off without them there at that time. The outcome is usually some kind of frustration on everyone's part, but especially for the depressed. It adds to whatever anger and frustration is already there, and usually it's already significant. This is something I've done a lot of, because I really do want the best for the people I care about even if I can't be there with them or for them. Ultimately, to say that ain't good is an understatement.
There are people who don't know how to really deal with depressed people or depression in general, especially if it's their loved ones or friends. It can be a touchy subject, but there are some things I've picked up along the way and things I've learned that might help some of you whenever you deal with those who are depressed either short or long term. First off, there is some sensitivity needed when dealing with depressed folk, but not as much as people might think. It usually depends on the individual, but most of the time you can probably treat them as you would other people you care about and they won't be affected too much. In other words, be normal and be cool about it, and if something comes up don't be afraid to deal with it. It's increasingly becoming a part of everyday life, especially for those who have lost a lot in the past few years like a job or insurance or whatever. If things start to look bleak for those depressed folk from your P.O.V., find someone you know who's likely dealt with that kind of stuff (if you know one) and listen to what they have to say about how to deal with your friend or loved one and go with your better instincts whether to intervene or not. I will say there is one particular sensitivity that those with depression have that I believe everybody needs to know about, not just from my own experiences but what I've been told by others who have depression. Whatever you do, don't ever tell a depressed person to "get over it" or "get over yourself," even in jest or as a joke. They are loaded terms, so much so that they could be considered the equivalent of the N-word to African-Americans...yes, it is that bad. If you want a depressed person to disregard you, turn against you or you want to make them feel lower than low, just say either of those phrases. Depression is a condition, an illness, and saying something along those lines is like saying "Get over cancer" or "Get over AIDS" or anything similar. Just like in those cases there are many who just aren't able to. In saying "get over it" to a depressed person, you come off as selfish, inconsiderate, and just not willing to deal with that person just because they are depressed...that's just how it is whether you like it or not. You may as well say that you don't give a damn about them, pardon my language. And seriously, do you really think a depressed person wants to be depressed? You may think that it's an innocent thing to say, but I'm telling you now that it's anything but. I can't tell you how many people have said that to me and I start seeing them differently just because they said that one thing...and I'm not the only one. I can't say it enough...whatever you do, don't say that to a depressed person. You'll have to pardon me if I come off as sort of combative about the "get over it" thing...it's just I've had to deal with it more than I've wanted to and it gets to me from time to time.
I'm not the be-all, end-all of experts on depression (not even close) and this isn't anywhere near a comprehensive look on the subject, but I hope what I've talked about here gives you an idea or two about what depression is about and some insight into what I and others who have this deal with on a regular basis. One of the hopes I have in talking about this here is that it lets some people in my life know that they don't have to be as super-sensitive around me as they have been just because of my depression and when something comes up it's not gonna be the end of the world. It's just a part of my life that I have to live with. I hate that I actually have to spell that out for those people, but I don't have much of a choice. I hate that I have depression and that I have to know so much about it just to get though the day at times. I am really looking forward to the day where depression is not such a major factor in my life any longer.
- Now everybody take a breath here...that was probably a lot to take in. It took me forever just to type that out.
- Moving on, I watched a movie called "Gas-s-s" about a world where everybody over the age of 25 died due to a toxin accidently released into the air. It's an interesting concept along the lines of Logan's Run, but this particular movie was made in the early 70's by Roger Corman as a counter-culture campy flick, so I got lost along the way. I think the intended audience for this particular film were those on acid trips and such because at several points I was lost on where the film was going and what it was trying to get at.
- The Westerville Browns Backers are having a banquet on March 20 at Jimmy V's in Westerville. If anybody wants ticket information let me know or just go to our website for more details. Former Brown Greg Pruitt will be the guest of honor.
- My church: Crossroads World Christian Center ministered by Pastor Cory Pariseau.
- It seems that last week I caught a cold. There seems to be a bug going around and I've only started feeling better in the past couple of days. Lucky me.
- Last night I went to the upscale bar Martini Park at Easton Town Center. When I got there I found out they don't allow people in with sneakers, so I had to go home and change shoes. My friend Tommy D is the deejay there so I wanted to check it out. Once I got in a live band was playing. The band, X-Ray, was pretty decent. The bar usually has live bands from 9 to 12 but they ran a little late last night because of a closed event earlier in the evening. Tommy D started spinning the tunes after the band stopped. The atmosphere is somewhat relaxed and packed....I was able to get around even though it was really crowded. The drinks are pricey (didn't have one myself...just what I noticed about the prices). I enjoyed myself there and left after about an hour to go check out other places, but went home instead. This might be a possibility as a place to go for my birthday in April, as something to do. If anybody has any ideas for my birthday (it's on a Friday this year), let me know.
- Song on repeat: "The Way You Look Tonight" as sung by Steve Tyrell. Made famous through Frank Sinatra, I prefer listening to this rendition of the song. It's slower paced and more relaxing for me.
- SLP to the following: Tatjana (happy b-day), Dave, Jill, Holly, Aunt Susie, George, Renee (happy b-day), Kristy (happy b-day), Kenda (happy b-day), Daryl (happy b-day), Betsy, (happy b-day), Jack (happy b-day), Madison, and Tommy D.
Wow, lot's of birthdays coming up, mine included in over a month or so. Anyway, I'm gonna get something to eat now because it's taken me a long time to type this up today and I'm hungry. Until next time, folks. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
