Random Thoughts #48 - the "family" edition

Greetings and welcome to another set of Random Thoughts from yours truly. I have a lot of thoughts for pondering this week, so let's get to it. Enjoy.

 -  For the first time in a while, I'm feeling alright. It may be because my sleep schedule seems to be back on track (let's see how long that holds up) and that I've been getting out just a little bit. It could also be due to stuff coming up that gets me going, like football season. In any case, even though I've still got stuff to deal with and face, at least for right now I'm feeling okay.

 -  The reason this is called the "family" edition is that my mom's side is having a reunion next weekend. It will be the first time in I think 15 years that my mom and all her sisters will be in one place at the same time, along with other relatives. Even though I keep in touch with a lot of them I haven't actually seen them in a long time, some for years. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it to the reunion because of a lot of stuff going on here in Columbus, but I'm hoping I can.

 -  For those of you who use Firefox, I have put up a collection of the add-ons I use on the Firefox site itself. You can find them at https://addons.mozilla.org/collection/djaddons. Some of them might be useful to you.

 -  There is a new football league that will debut in October called the United Football League. It is a professional league that will play its games during the week on Thursdays and Fridays, I believe. There are going to be teams in New York, San Francisco, Las Vegas, and Orlando. The teams don't have names yet, but they do have some former NFL coaches and is run by a lot of ex-NFL personnel. The rules are generally the same with a few exceptions and it is a short season until they decide to expand. Unlike other efforts at establishing pro leagues (XFL, anyone?), I think this one has a decent shot of succeeding, for a couple of reasons. One, there are rumors that with the demise of NFL Europa (that is not a misspelling) the NFL is looking for a "minor league" and the way the UFL is set up, it may become that one day. The big reason I think it may succeed is because of something going on in the NFL. The 2010 NFL season will be an uncapped season, which means that there will be no salary cap. That means no maximum on salaries, but due to the collective bargaining agreement there is also no minimum. With that in mind, there is the big possibility of a lockout by the owners unless a new CBA is reached. That means the UFL could be the only pro football going on in the fall of 2010. On top of that, even if they do play with the uncapped season, the UFL will be paying more than the minimum the NFL gives right now, so there will be players who may elect to go here for financial considerations and also a higher likelihood of actual playing time. The games will be aired on the Versus channel and it might be worth checking out when it starts up.

 -  Speaking of football, I'm not forgetting about my Cleveland Browns. I will be joining the Westerville Browns Backers once again this season to watch the games. We have found a NEW and potentially permanent home to meet up at. It will be at the new Jimmy V's Sports Bar and Grill at the corner of State and College Streets in Uptown Westerville. The place really wanted us to be there, so for me personally I am excited about this. I'm just happy we're not going to be nomadic any longer. Now if we can only get to working on our website....
 -  There is a movement by several companies who make software to have "online" versions of their programs available as online tools as opposed to having them as applications to be installed on personal computers and laptops. The next version of Microsoft Office is supposed to be available like this for a subscription fee as well as a standalone version, but there are some programs out now as installable applications that may be only offered as online apps in the future. Now, I don't know about any of you, but even though it might be nice to have some stuff that clogs our disk space placed online instead, there is something to be said for having actual ownership of programs where you don't have to rely on being online to access it. Let's say I wanted to fix something in a document like a mistaken spelling or something that just needs tidying up...should I have to go online just to fix minor things that I am more than capable of doing if I had the actual program on my own computer? Also, for the financially conscious, having a subscription fee might be good for the companies themselves but it might not be as feasible on the user end because it would just be another "bill" that would have to be paid along with whatever else users have to pay for (home, food, and utilities, anyone?). For my document needs I use OpenOffice on my computer, so why would I want to pay for such an online service when I already have a program I can use anytime I want on my own computer without that hassle? I think there needs to be more discussion between these companies and regular and casual users regarding this before they start "offering" their proposals.

 -  My church home: Crossroads World Christian Center.

 -  Starting sometime in November tentatively, there will be a remake of the TV mini-series "V" on ABC as a regular series. I loved the original mini-series and it's sequel "The Final Battle" (the following series had its ups and downs) and from what I've heard about it and seen so far this new series might surpass the original, like with Battlestar Galactica. It has some name actors in the show including Morris Chestnut, Scott Wolf (Party of Five), and Morena Baccarin as the alien leader "Anna" (a riff on the character from the original mini named "Diana"). Along with other stuff coming out on TV in the next few months, I'm particularly looking forward to this show when it airs.

 -  Song on repeat: "Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone)" by Cinderella. Despite the title and what's been going on with me the past few weeks, this one isn't about me but about some others I know...that's all I'm gonna say about that.

 -  SLP to the following: my mom and dad (happy anniversary), Tracy, Marcia, Dave (happy birthday), Griff (happy b-day), Corey (again, happy birthday), Steve, Mario, Bob & Lynn.

That's it for this entry. I've got a somewhat eventful week ahead of me so I might not be as available as I normally am...just thought I'd get that out now just in case. Until next time, America (there I go with the Maury Povich signoff again...). Take care and God Bless.

DJ

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Random Thoughts #47 - the "I can do that?" edition

Hello and welcome once again to Random Thoughts. Some of you may believe it's time to wake up and some of you may believe it's time to go to bed. Me, I believe it's time to start blogging....and away I go.

 -  Along with changes in my personal life (the one I have offline, at least), I have made some changes to my Myspace profile, some obvious, some subtle, and some only known to me and me alone (tee hee!). The most obvious are the removal of some links (linking to places from Myspace is a pain sometimes) and the replacing of my music player with a Myspace single-song version. I am hoping to change up the song regularly to the "song on repeat" I put in my blogs every week, but that will depend on my whether the song is available to put up and if I feel like it.

 -  I've been looking through some old files on my computer and came across something that I wrote during my days in Akron (before I got back down here to Columbus). It's from one of my old personal websites as a journal entry before I found the wonders of a blog. It's something that at the time got my attention and still has some relevance today. I did clean it up a bit to post here, but it is essentially the same journal entry as before. Here it is:

Predator & Prey

I was originally going to write something about a concept I came up with recently but something happened over the weekend that upset me and left me head scratching at the same time. At the dance club where I hang out, I had an encounter with a pal of one of my other friends, which I guess makes him an acquaintance. This gentleman, who I'm calling Mr. Nameless to avoid using real names, pointed out a woman for me to approach and talk to. As most people who personally know me understand, I'm very shy and hesitant when it comes to approaching and talking to women. I'm working on that, but it's something I'm still not ready to do yet, so I declined his offer. He goes ballistic, stating it's a perfect opportunity and that it shouldn't be passed up. He said that I was never going to "get a woman" or be confident around women if I didn't get into the habit of talking to them. Unfortunately, he emphasized this by saying that it's a game of "predator and prey," that men are predators, and that women, who he called "hos," were prey for the predators. He was really doing the hard sell on this, going so far as to state that to hang with him and my friend, I'd have to do the same thing he did. I was completely flabbergasted by his spiel and upset that I wasn't able to deal with him as effectively as I could have (something that happens often but I'm getting better at...really!!!). He took me completely by surprise and left me with a bitter aftertaste. On top of that, it ruined my night at the club. However, it did give me a lot to think about.

One point he had that I somewhat agree with is that I need to start talking to women. It's difficult because it's just so easy to keep to myself and stay shy. However, I do have a desire to be with women and this shyness thing just isn't helping me at all. I'm working on the confidence part of it, but that's gonna take some time. I'll concede Mr. Nameless that. It's just that some of the other stuff he said regarding the subject that bothered me.

The first problem I had with what he was doing was his approach. He was being very aggressive. Not assertive...aggressive. He's as relentless as a vicious pit bull when it comes to approaching women. He was that way just trying to sell his approach to me. I'm not gonna argue that he gets women with that approach because I only have his word and my friend's to go on and I haven't seen it work. At least not in the way he's speaking of. I'm not, nor do I ever want to be, an aggressive person. I'd rather be assertive, because I really don't want to scare off anybody.

He supported his argument with the "predator/prey" analogy. I have a word that comes to mind when the words "predator" and "getting women" are put together...rape. That's right, rape. It may sound extreme, but rapists are predators. To be that kind of predator, one must get what they want regardless of the other person's feelings and thoughts. In other words, no concern for anyone but themselves and dehumanize others that don't give them their way. I sensed this lack of concern from Mr. Nameless when he called women "hos." He never once called them "women" or "ladies" in his descriptions, just "hos." I REALLY hope that Mr. Nameless isn't that kind of predator. It'd be a shame, for both himself and others. If he wants me to be like that just to hang with him, I think I'll just walk away, because it isn't worth my soul to do something like that.

It seems as though his only reason to go out to a club is to get a woman. That's not a bad thing, but Mr. Nameless' approach is just too salty for my tastes. When I go out, I just want to have a good time. If it's with a woman, that's good. If it's just hanging out or dancing, that's fine too. The best line I heard regarding my going out is best summed up in a line from the R Kelly song "Hey Love": hang with the ladies and chill with the fellas (an ironic one, that R Kelly is). If someone has to issue unreasonable ultimatums to just hang out with them, it isn't worth it. Mr. Nameless, I hope you understand that.

 -  Something to note: cabin fever is not fun...

 -  I watched a "History of the Browns" documentary on NFL Network On Demand last week. It is so weird how much things have changed for the team since those days. I just hope the Browns start getting on the right track this upcoming season.

 -  As you may have noticed, one of the other changes to my Myspace profile is a new color scheme to my default pic, a modified personal logo of my name. I think it is one of my better works myself. On top of that, somebody suggested to me that I get a theme song ala "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka" to compliment it. I might just do that, because every great hero has theme music.

 -  Song on repeat: "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down, the song played on those Geico commercials. All I'm gonna say about it is that it seems "apropos," so to speak, at this point in time and that there are some people (nobody really close to me, but some people nonetheless) who need to listen to the words in this song.

 -  SLP to the following: Pastor Cory (happy birthday), Salina (happy birthday), Paula (happy birthday), Holly, Scotty, Ernest, and Andrea.

Some of you seem to be wondering about me and have asked if I'm doing alright. Well, to be honest I am going through a very rough patch in my life right now, including making a lot of changes I didn't expect to make, finding alternative activities and things to do, and going about my business differently. Some of it is stuff I've already written about here in the blog and some of it is stuff I'm either not ready to write about yet or I'm not going to talk about here whatsoever. Sufficed to say I am doing as well as I can expect and I thank those of you who stood by me through this and didn't kick me to the curb. I can only ask those of you who care to just pray for me and hope for the best. It's not an easy time for me right now...far from it, but I'm working through it. I'm ending this entry today with a bit of wisdom I put on my social network statuses that I keep having to remind myself of: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't expect people to always understand what you mean or say." Until next time...take care and God Bless.

DJ

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Random Thoughts #46 - the "poetic" edition

Hello once again and welcome back to what people call either the most or least scandalous blog they've read...I don't think it's that scandalous at all, but I digress. Once again I have another set of random thoughts to share, so enjoy.

 -  As many of you know, the past few weeks have been emotionally hectic and draining for me, but I'm still hanging in there and recharging my batteries every chance I get. Now to help with recharging, I've been pretty...creative, so to speak, and one of the creative things I've done is write a poem, hence the "poetic" edition. I was indirectly inspired by a Myspace status entry by one of my friends who said something about Michael Jackson and how he proved that if you come from the heart and express yourself in a heartfelt manner, then negative and envious people can only sit back and choke on their own negativity. This inspired me to write a poem based on quotes, feelings, observations, and things said to me (some I couldn't believe I actually saw or heard), mishmashed into the creative piece that will soon be before you. I'll be honest...I was in somewhat of a dark place emotionally when I wrote this, but I felt much better after creating this. It's not all dark and it covers a range of things not only heard in the past few weeks, but in the past year and before that. With that in mind, here is my poem:

BUT I AM NOT A LEMMING

I'm expected to think and be like other people, but I am not a lemming.
I'm supposed to follow the family, but I am not a lemming.
I'm expected to be a part of the crowd, but I am not a lemming.
People want me to change for them to like me, but I am not a lemming.
People want me to change to continue liking me, but I am not a lemming.
I'm supposed to suck up to people for them to even consider noticing me, but I am not a lemming.
My individuality is not supposed to upset the status quo, but I am not a lemming.
People want me to acquiesce to their desires at their whim, but I am not a lemming.
I'm expected to be convenient for others' sake, but I am not a lemming.
I'm told people won't like me if I say something that offends them, but I am not a lemming.
I'm supposed to be part of the crew, but I am not a lemming.
I'm not allowed to express my viewpoint if it's not one shared by everybody else, but I am not a lemming.
It's not easy to be true to myself despite others' expectations especially when it bothers others, but I am not a lemming.
My invitations will be revoked if I don't “tow the company line,” but I am not a lemming.
I like to be invited to things, but I am not a lemming.
I'll get “cut off” if I don't change my way of thinking, but I am not a lemming.
I'm supposed to say things that people are supposed to like, but I am not a lemming.
People want to use my own words against me, but I am not a lemming.
People do not want to understand where I'm coming from, but I am not a lemming.
People say I'm whining if I say something they don't agree with, but I am not a lemming.
People want to read too much into what I say and believe the worst, but I am not a lemming.
People don't like when I stand up for myself or stand by what I say, but I am not a lemming.
I will suffer because I don't say the “right” things, but I am not a lemming.
I'm expected to “be a man about stuff” when I'm not given the same courtesy, but I am not a lemming.
I go about things in ways I am comfortable with, but I am not a lemming.
I may be sensitive and touchy sometimes, but I am not a lemming.
I'm supposed to lose myself in order to not lose my friends, but I am not a lemming.
People will read into what I write despite what I actually write, but I am not a lemming.
Only certain differences in opinion are “acceptable,” but I am not a lemming.
People say it's “too bad” if I'm inconvenienced or things aren't going my way, but I am not a lemming.
I'm expected to take crap from others and appreciate it because it's “honest,” but I am not a lemming.
It's not easy being part of a group, but I am not a lemming.
It's not easy being me, but I am not a lemming.

…....I may not be the easiest person to get along with, to understand, or to put up with. I am human, after all...but I am not a lemming.

 -  Speaking of Michael Jackson, I got to watch the memorial service last Tuesday. It was emotional, it was respectful, and it showed how much he meant not just to his family, but to all of us who grew up influenced by him. Rest in peace.

 -  Google is poising to join Microsoft, Linux, and Apple by creating their own operating system based on it's Chrome browser for laptops and "netbooks." Google believes they may have a shot, but I honestly think they are overreaching here, especially since the entire OS spectrum is covered pretty tightly with Linux already having the free OS, Apple with the alternative OS and Microsoft with the standard OS. I just don't see how Google can compete with that right now, but time will tell.

 -  A couple of wrestling notes: Seth Green (Robot Chicken, Family Guy, Buffy, etc.) will be "guest hosting" WWE Raw on Monday night. That should be interesting. However, what had me laughing last week was R-Truth (Ron Killings for those of you who knew him from TNA) on WWE Smackdown last week debuting a character named Pretty Ricky (whose "government name" is "Delicious"). Bottom line, it was pretty entertaining and hilarious and I wonder where he and WWE will go with this.

 -  I finally got to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on Friday and it was an awesome movie. I don't know why critics panned it so much, but I do know why it got such a high box office....it was a damn good movie. A friend of mine got to see it on IMAX and he said it was better, so I may have to check that version out when I get the chance.

 -  My church home: Crossroads World Christian Center at http://www.crossroadswcc.org/.

 -  As many of you know, I am a Democratic moderate politically-speaking, so I do tend to take a more critical eye toward the right-wing and a harsh one toward the quacks. With that in mind, I want to talk about Sarah Palin for a moment. As many of you know, she is abdicating her position as governor of Alaska at the end of this month. People don't know why she's doing it because despite her attempts at explaining, she still seems pretty vague about why. Regardless of that, there has been something that's been bothering me about her that I couldn't get a handle on (other than I think she's a quack, IMHO), like she reminded me of somebody I've seen but couldn't put a finger on. That has bugged me until a couple of days ago where I figured it out. She reminds me of Jeremy Piven's anchorman character from the movie "Scary Movie 3" when he's reading off the teleprompter....AFTER everybody starts messing with what's being put on the screen. Now I don't know what you all personally think of the woman (or Barack Obama whose closely associated with using a teleprompter), but for me every time Sarah Palin speaks I flash to that moment in SM3. It's funny in a way but it scares me at the same time.

 -  Song on repeat: "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum. A grunge-type song, it could describe what I've been going through the past few months. However, it's the one on repeat this week because I finally added a good working non-skipped-around version of the song to my music collection. Took me a while to find that puppy.

 -  SLP to the following: Pastor Cory, Mindy, Joe, Gandhi, Anna, Walt, Patrick, Griff (for the Myspace quote), Holly, Dave, and Cheryl.

That's all for this edition. Join me next time when I have more to say. The fanboy in me would end this by saying "transform and roll out," but I'll just end this by saying....take care and God Bless.

DJ

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Random Thoughts #45 - the "new chapter" edition

Hello and welcome to my latest set of Random Thoughts. I wasn't sure I'd have much to write about this week, but alas my wacky brain has come up with stuff to put here. With that in mind, enjoy.

 -  I've named this edition the "new chapter" one because something has tangibly changed for me. As opposed to the past few blogs where I was writing about concepts, my observations, or me responding to something, this is more of a "feeling" thing. I've stated in the past couple blogs or so that I've been making some small changes regarding me, myself, and I and those are continuing. In addition, I've observed that the types of activities I've been doing over the past few months have been in flux with no sense of that settling anytime soon. Some of the primary players in my life have changed, with new people and some old friends and family added to the mix now. Several things I used to let slide I haven't let slide so much anymore. Given all that, I have this real strong feeling that I've turned the page in the book that is my life. Now, understand that this is a feeling and that feelings are naturally temporary and can change at any time, but my gut instinct tells me that I've started a new chapter here. It's happened before but usually I'm knee-deep in the middle before I realize something like this has happened (with a couple of exceptions), so I'm surprised to be catching this so early on. I don't know when this started, only that it occurred and, from what I can tell, it happened in the past couple months or so. I'll be honest...until recently I imagined this might happen but only on a subconsious level and I wasn't actively prepared for it. I guess unconsciously I was hoping that this was just a feeling that might pass. However, I trust my gut instincts too much to believe otherwise, so I guess something new has started here. In addition to whatever the Lord has in store for me, I'm really not sure where this new chapter is going to lead me. I guess if I'm gonna have any say in what will happen...what I'm going to write in this new chapter, so to speak, I guess a place to start would be to find something to write my part with first.

 -  There has been a lot of deaths of famous people over the past couple weeks. Today I learned that Steve McNair, former QB of the Tennessee Titans and Baltimore Ravens, was shot dead last night. That makes about six or seven passings now in a short amount of time (including what I believe to be the biggest one out of all of them, Michael Jackson's). It's a hard time for many in the public spotlight right now and a harder time for us fans of those who have passed recently. I can only pray that they are in a better place now.

 -  I didn't have the most spectacular of July 4th holidays, but I had a decent time nonetheless. I did go down to Red, White, and Boom on Friday night, but at around 7:00 PM downtown Columbus was so packed I could not find a decent spot to watch the fireworks from (and I looked around the whole area), so I went home and watched it on TV. On Saturday I went to a cookout during the day and later on watched the Westerville fireworks from an awesome spot which I found only an hour before the show (go figure). This one rated somewhere in the middle in terms of overall Independence Day celebrations.

 -  Pastor Cory's church and my spiritual home: Crossroads World Christian Center.

 -  The default pic I currently have up on my Myspace profile is the family crest for my father's side of the family. I found it a few years back and got a copy of it for my computer and other places. I think it looks cool myself, so I put it up and will probably have it up for a while.

 -  Song on repeat: "Can You Feel It" by the Jacksons. In rememberance of Michael Jackson (rest in peace), I've been listening to a lot of the old hits he had or contributed to. This particular song was one I could never remember the name of. I heard it recently for the first time in years on a Michael Jackson tribute special, so once I got the name I went looking for it. It took me a while, but I finally got the version of this song I've been looking for, so I'm pretty happy about that.

 -  SLP for the following: Ernest, Art (happy birthday), one of my oldest friends Bob (also, happy birthday), Griff, my cousin Betsy, Patrick, Joe, Mindy, and Walt.

It's sort of a light week for my Random Thoughts, but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. I may have more next week, I may have less...I don't know. Now to look for something to write with...until next time, folks. Take care and God Bless.

DJ

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