- Along with changes in my personal life (the one I have offline, at least), I have made some changes to my Myspace profile, some obvious, some subtle, and some only known to me and me alone (tee hee!). The most obvious are the removal of some links (linking to places from Myspace is a pain sometimes) and the replacing of my music player with a Myspace single-song version. I am hoping to change up the song regularly to the "song on repeat" I put in my blogs every week, but that will depend on my whether the song is available to put up and if I feel like it.
- I've been looking through some old files on my computer and came across something that I wrote during my days in Akron (before I got back down here to Columbus). It's from one of my old personal websites as a journal entry before I found the wonders of a blog. It's something that at the time got my attention and still has some relevance today. I did clean it up a bit to post here, but it is essentially the same journal entry as before. Here it is:
Predator & Prey
I was originally going to write something about a concept I came up with recently but something happened over the weekend that upset me and left me head scratching at the same time. At the dance club where I hang out, I had an encounter with a pal of one of my other friends, which I guess makes him an acquaintance. This gentleman, who I'm calling Mr. Nameless to avoid using real names, pointed out a woman for me to approach and talk to. As most people who personally know me understand, I'm very shy and hesitant when it comes to approaching and talking to women. I'm working on that, but it's something I'm still not ready to do yet, so I declined his offer. He goes ballistic, stating it's a perfect opportunity and that it shouldn't be passed up. He said that I was never going to "get a woman" or be confident around women if I didn't get into the habit of talking to them. Unfortunately, he emphasized this by saying that it's a game of "predator and prey," that men are predators, and that women, who he called "hos," were prey for the predators. He was really doing the hard sell on this, going so far as to state that to hang with him and my friend, I'd have to do the same thing he did. I was completely flabbergasted by his spiel and upset that I wasn't able to deal with him as effectively as I could have (something that happens often but I'm getting better at...really!!!). He took me completely by surprise and left me with a bitter aftertaste. On top of that, it ruined my night at the club. However, it did give me a lot to think about.
One point he had that I somewhat agree with is that I need to start talking to women. It's difficult because it's just so easy to keep to myself and stay shy. However, I do have a desire to be with women and this shyness thing just isn't helping me at all. I'm working on the confidence part of it, but that's gonna take some time. I'll concede Mr. Nameless that. It's just that some of the other stuff he said regarding the subject that bothered me.
The first problem I had with what he was doing was his approach. He was being very aggressive. Not assertive...aggressive. He's as relentless as a vicious pit bull when it comes to approaching women. He was that way just trying to sell his approach to me. I'm not gonna argue that he gets women with that approach because I only have his word and my friend's to go on and I haven't seen it work. At least not in the way he's speaking of. I'm not, nor do I ever want to be, an aggressive person. I'd rather be assertive, because I really don't want to scare off anybody.
He supported his argument with the "predator/prey" analogy. I have a word that comes to mind when the words "predator" and "getting women" are put together...rape. That's right, rape. It may sound extreme, but rapists are predators. To be that kind of predator, one must get what they want regardless of the other person's feelings and thoughts. In other words, no concern for anyone but themselves and dehumanize others that don't give them their way. I sensed this lack of concern from Mr. Nameless when he called women "hos." He never once called them "women" or "ladies" in his descriptions, just "hos." I REALLY hope that Mr. Nameless isn't that kind of predator. It'd be a shame, for both himself and others. If he wants me to be like that just to hang with him, I think I'll just walk away, because it isn't worth my soul to do something like that.
It seems as though his only reason to go out to a club is to get a woman. That's not a bad thing, but Mr. Nameless' approach is just too salty for my tastes. When I go out, I just want to have a good time. If it's with a woman, that's good. If it's just hanging out or dancing, that's fine too. The best line I heard regarding my going out is best summed up in a line from the R Kelly song "Hey Love": hang with the ladies and chill with the fellas (an ironic one, that R Kelly is). If someone has to issue unreasonable ultimatums to just hang out with them, it isn't worth it. Mr. Nameless, I hope you understand that.
- Something to note: cabin fever is not fun...
- I watched a "History of the Browns" documentary on NFL Network On Demand last week. It is so weird how much things have changed for the team since those days. I just hope the Browns start getting on the right track this upcoming season.
- As you may have noticed, one of the other changes to my Myspace profile is a new color scheme to my default pic, a modified personal logo of my name. I think it is one of my better works myself. On top of that, somebody suggested to me that I get a theme song ala "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka" to compliment it. I might just do that, because every great hero has theme music.
- Song on repeat: "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down, the song played on those Geico commercials. All I'm gonna say about it is that it seems "apropos," so to speak, at this point in time and that there are some people (nobody really close to me, but some people nonetheless) who need to listen to the words in this song.
- SLP to the following: Pastor Cory (happy birthday), Salina (happy birthday), Paula (happy birthday), Holly, Scotty, Ernest, and Andrea.
Some of you seem to be wondering about me and have asked if I'm doing alright. Well, to be honest I am going through a very rough patch in my life right now, including making a lot of changes I didn't expect to make, finding alternative activities and things to do, and going about my business differently. Some of it is stuff I've already written about here in the blog and some of it is stuff I'm either not ready to write about yet or I'm not going to talk about here whatsoever. Sufficed to say I am doing as well as I can expect and I thank those of you who stood by me through this and didn't kick me to the curb. I can only ask those of you who care to just pray for me and hope for the best. It's not an easy time for me right now...far from it, but I'm working through it. I'm ending this entry today with a bit of wisdom I put on my social network statuses that I keep having to remind myself of: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't expect people to always understand what you mean or say." Until next time...take care and God Bless.
DJ
