Hello once again from the world of DJ and all its vague, complicated
intricacies. I have an awful lot to cover, so let's get to it, shall
we?
- Why the "inconvenient" edition, you say? Well, this past
week has been full of glitches here and there going on around me and
with me. My sleep pattern was thrown off by the radical changes in
weather...my weatherization at work, I suspect. Even though the
scratches on my face are healing, it's just annoying to have them. My
car's steering has been acting up a bit, probably from too much steering
fluid I put in. My computer itself has been on the fritz just trying
to start it up, which I suspect is a power supply issue. There's been
other stuff as well, but for the most part I've been trying to work
around all these inconveniences, so if it seems like I'm being crabby,
this is probably why.
- I went to the O.C. last night and was
happy to see a lot of my friends there, maybe even some potential new
regulars. It was crowded and there was a diverse crowd...all types
there. However, I was having trouble enjoying it because I was tired
before getting there due to the problems with my thrown-off sleep
schedule. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but because I felt
tired and a bit cranky it wasn't as good for me as it has been the past
few months.
- Something that I've recently been keeping an eye
on are two incidents reported in the media: the Chris Brown-Rihanna
domestic violence situation and the Christian Bale profanity-laced
tirade on the "Terminator: Salvation" movie set. I don't need to go
into the history of both since they have been in the media for some time
now. However, I do want to talk about in a general sense what both
situations are at their root: abuse. The abuse found in the Chris
Brown situation is probably the most visible and easiest to define. He
physically attacked another person and, per reports in the media,
previously abused her physically and verbally. The type in the
Christian Bale situation was verbal and profanity-laden but no less
damaging and actually less obvious than some may initially observe. At
first glance, it could have been argued that it was an overreaction and
that he was so deep into character that he couldn't help himself. I
actually heard the tirade on one of the media sites and IMHO it was far
deeper than that.
Even though these particular situations may
only appear on the surface to basically be abuse, there are factors
underlying both that I think we all have observed or experienced at
times in our lives, some of us more than we should have to experience.
One factor is the total disregard of the victims as people. I'm not
talking about the type of disregard that is accidental in nature like
forgetting to include someone in an activity or misremembering a name or
just being left out by mistake. I'm talking about an intentional
disregard for the victimized person as a human being whatsoever, to the
point where they are seen as nothing but an object, a non-entity, or
something that is "simply in the way" and taking up space that the
abuser/victimizer deems too valuable for anybody else other than
themselves. Another factor is that such abuse is learned behavior, not
genetic. I have regularly heard that it can be passed down through
families and social groups, but to me that seems to be too simplistic an
answer. I have observed it more often being passed from
abuser/offender to victim, in that the victim becomes an offender
themselves at some point and thus creating a cycle of abuse that is hard
to break. It doesn't always happen, but it is likely in these
situations. A third factor is the impact it has not just on the victims
but the offender as well and anybody connected in some fashion to
either victim or offender. Such impact includes scenarios such as
betrayals of trust, the keeping of secrets, breakdowns and fracturing of
relationships, and even outright physical violence. Some of this
particular impact is represented in the two aforementioned situations,
but any one of these scenarios will be evident in any abuse situation.
I
have noticed in myself and others how difficult it is to be involved in
any capacity, whether it be as a victim, a witness, or unfortunately as
an offender, in an abuse scenario. It's easy just to say don't get
involved, just stay out of it and be safe for ourselves, or justify that
it's not our business to be involved (that's the one I hear the most).
Unfortunately, life isn't that easy. If it's someone that any of us
care about, it's already our business whether we like it or not.
Something that comes to mind when I think of this involves an experience
from my first year of college. A female friend of mine named Jennifer
had a boyfriend who was abusive to her. I actually witnessed the
boyfriend slug her in the club and she ended up with a nasty bruise on
her cheek. A few of her friends and I tried to reason with her to get
away from this guy but she stayed with him. Fortunately she eventually
dumped him but it bugged me that I couldn't do more for her than that.
Now, I have a general idea how to deal with different abuse situations,
but each one is different in some respect and I don't have all the
answers...no one person does. However, it is not enough to simply stand
back and let abuse continue, especially if there is something we can do
about it. I think it's important to go out there and learn about how
to help those who are dealing with these situations, whether it means
reading up or getting on the internet or talking with friends as to how
to best help out those we care about. I don't know....maybe letting
people hash it out on their own is the best thing to do in some
situations...that doesn't count when physical abuse is involved. Like I
said, I don't have all the answers. I do want to remind people that
there is always risk involved, so it is important to know what to do
before getting involved if you choose to be more active. Here's
something I want to leave this blurb with for you all to think about:
if abuse is offensive to you and you let it happen to your friends or
loved ones yet do nothing to help, what does that say about you and your
value to others, especially those friends and loved ones?
- I
know that last blurb was long, incredibly dense and probably could have
put it in its own blog, but I did that on purpose for two reasons. One,
to see if I could do it, and two, to see if paragraphs will work within
individual blurbs. I know there are people who probably need to read
that last blurb (again, in some cases), so refer them back here so they
can read it for themselves. It may be inconvenient for some (hey, it
actually goes with the theme of this blog today!), but I do believe it
to be too important not to address.
- One more downer-like thing
before I move on...I do want to note the passing of the wrestler
formerly known as "Test" over the weekend. Andrew Martin, who worked in
both WWE and TNA, passed away at the age of 33. Rest in peace.
- On a more positive note, the past week in Ohio basketball has been
very interesting. The Cleveland Cavaliers have already wrapped up the
Central Division title in the NBA. Also, five college teams from Ohio
made the NCAA Tournament this year: Ohio State, Akron, Cleveland State,
Dayton, and Xavier. I think that is the most teams from one state in
the tournament this year, but I'm not certain of that.
- Like I
mentioned sometime last week, I finally got my Myspace IM back. I can
IM again, but I'm using a messenger program native to Linux, so now I
can use Facebook Chat on it as well, for those of you visiting from
Facebook. I may log on to Facebook repeatedly just to get names into my
messenger client so if you see me on there with some frequency, that's
me trying to set up the client. Or maybe not and I'll just keep you
guessing what I'm doing there. In any case, I have Facebook Chat and
Myspace IM again.
- As you may have noticed, I have changed the background back to one I
used before as well as the look of my blog and profile. I hope it is
easier to read as some of you have told me you had trouble with that
Matrix one.
- Birthday celebration update: it looks like the
celebration may have to be moved back to that second weekend despite the
Easter holiday, at least as far as the club goes. However, I am
looking to do something outside of the club to celebrate as well,
possibly on Friday the 10th, with anybody who's up for it. All I need
are ideas on what we could do that Friday. If anybody has any ideas,
shoot 'em my way...and don't be afraid to make them public through the
comments, but keep 'em PG-13 at the most. I don't want kids getting
weird ideas.
- Roasts are fun, aren't they?
- Song on repeat: "Don't Talk" by Jon B...just a cool slow song that can be danced to. A fave of mine for years.
- SLP for this long blog: all the guys in my crew (you know who you
are), Patrick (Happy B-Day, bud), Pastor Cory, Kristin, Cara, Cheryl,
Holly, Daryl, Dark Joey, and one of my oldest friends Todd Clark.
It
took me a long time to type this up, so I think I'll go get something
to eat. I'm happy it's finally warming up, but I'll be even happier
when my weatherization is completed for the season. I hope you all
learned something from this blog today. Join me next time as I talk
about even more random things. Until then, take care and God Bless.
DJ
