Random Thoughts #111 - the "hurricane" edition

Hello and welcome to another edition of DJ's Random Thoughts.  I have a few things on my mind so once again I thought I'd share them here.  With that in mind, enjoy.

 -  The "hurricane" subtitle is about something I never thought to talk about before:  my Red Cross deployment to Mississippi for Hurricane Katrina operations back in December of 2005.  After reading an article last week about the upcoming potential for hurricanes this year, it hit me that I had never actually talked about that stuff in any real depth.  It wasn't due to the actual experience itself because that's easy for me to talk about, but for some time afterwards I would get hung up on the awe-striking imagery that popped up in my head of what I saw there whenever the subject came up.  Even now, the images strike me somewhat vividly.  I wish I had a camera at the time so I could have shared that stuff here, but unfortunately I don't.  Before I get too wrapped up in the imagery in my head once again, let me get into the experience itself and some of what I can describe...at least from what I can remember.

When I started with the Red Cross in Delaware, OH, I was working under the auspices of AmeriCorps.  I started there in mid-September, about a couple weeks after Hurricane Katrina hit those southern states bordering the Gulf of Mexico.  I worked in the Disaster Services office and started immersing myself in current goings-on for the ARC (short for American Red Cross), which included a ton of stuff on the major event at the time, the major hurricanes that hit the southern U.S.  I got antsy as I learned about what was going on and got more so as I was helping ready volunteers for deployment to the affected areas.  I wanted to see what was going on there for myself and, as is my nature, wanted to help out in the worst way.  I made myself available for deployment in October, but it wasn't until early December (three months after Katrina hit) that my boss got the call for me to be deployed.  Unlike most volunteers who had two days to get ready, I had to be ready and at the airport by 4 AM the next day.  At the time, most volunteers would serve three weeks on a deployment but because of restrictions place by AmeriCorps I was only allowed two weeks (if I did have three weeks, I would have been there on Christmas day).  On December 7th, I was on my way to Mississippi.

When I got there, I was driven by ARC staff to the operations HQ in Gulfport, MS.  One of the first things I saw on the drive to HQ was what looked to be a 30 to 40 foot boat...could have been a yacht...crashed into the roof of a building like if an airplane had crashed into it.  It was just sticking out of the top of the building it crashed into.  At that moment I knew I wasn't in Ohio anymore.  For the first couple of days I stayed at the SeaBees base in Gulfport, then got moved to a hotel for the rest of my stay there.  I mainly worked on ERVs (short for Emergency Response Vehicles) preparing and serving food to people in affected areas, teaming with different people every day I was there.  I did serve on scout duty one day near the end of my stay scouting areas of potential need of Red Cross services, but for the most part I served food to people.  It was tiring work and a bit stressful at times (especially the day the ERV I was riding in got a flat tire in a somewhat deserted area...that was interesting), but it was definitely worthwhile work.

Like I said earlier, the thing I usually get hung up on when talking about the deployment is the stuff I saw, the awe-striking imagery.  I wish I had a good camera with me on the trip (I couldn't afford one) and tried to use the camera in the cell phone I just got a few days earlier, but it wasn't that good of a camera and I couldn't transfer the pics anywhere so that was a useless endeavor.  All I had imagery-wise was what I remember in my head, and like I said earlier, what I saw was awe-striking.  The boat crashed into that building was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what I saw there.  I saw several huge barges that were used for gambling beached inland, sometimes up to a half a mile away from water, all rusted out and full of holes.  There were neighborhoods where there were just foundations and plumbing sticking out of the ground in places houses big and small once stood...not just certain areas, I'm talking entire neighborhoods, especially where ground zero of Hurricane Katrina hit.  It looked like a wasteland.  I got to go on a day trip to New Orleans and got an eyeful there.  One of the I-10 bridges was out thanks to the hurricane, so there was only one accessible bridge to the city (on the way back, I got stuck in traffic for four hours there due to all the back-up on that one bridge alone).  I drove by a washed-out looking Superdome that reeked, even three months after the hurricane hit.  The French Quarter was intact for the most part but there were entire neighborhoods in New Orleans that looked like warzones you'd see in old World War II movies.  There was so much that I saw on the deployment that even now it's hard to put into words.  It was probably the one time in my life that I wish I had a real camera with me.

So what did I get out of that deployment?  Well, a huge phone bill, for one thing.  I didn't have roaming on my phone plan at the time so my bill for that month was rather high (I do now, thank God).  I got an experience that not many people I know have ever had, much less could envision having.  When I got back and tried to describe my experiences to co-workers, AmeriCorps people and my friends, I got really tongue-tied when thinking about what I saw there and was like "uhhhhhh..." or something along those lines.  That deployment really affected me in two major ways.  First, it visually reminded me that tomorrow is not promised to any of us.  Second, it started me back down a path toward dreaming again about the future and the potential it might hold for me.  I lost that sometime during my first go-round at Ohio State and only got it back after that trip...I don't know how I got it back, only that it came back after I went to Mississippi.  Now, would I go on such a deployment again?  If I had the motivation and some updated training, in a heartbeat I would, even if it wasn't the life-changing experience my Hurricane Katrina deployment turned out to be.

 -  I've got a few blog-related things I want to talk about here.  First, I've closed down my Empire Avenue account.  It really wasn't doing much in that it was too entangled with other unrelated things for it to really make the kind of impact I wanted for DJRT, so I shut it down.  I am keeping the other DJRT social media accounts.  The DJRT Facebook page is good to promote my stuff to my friends.  The DJRT Pinterest account is like a "Random Pics" version of the blog and great for images I come across without having to post the pics in individual editions themselves (that can be a pain sometimes).  The DJRT Google Plus page is great for photo albums and helps me promote to a wider audience.  The DJRT Twitter account helps with the audience too and was especially helpful in promoting the "Tree Hill" edition.  However, I am looking for more places to promote DJRT to an even wider audience beyond what I potentially have now, so if anybody has any suggestions as to where I can do so, let me know on the DJRT Facebook, Google+, or Twitter pages.  I am interested in getting some feedback on this.

 -  This upcoming Sunday, MCW will be having a Riot Television taping on the 26th in Massillon at the Firehouse Grille & Pub.  MCW announced recently that not only will Riot TV be on the MCWPro.com website but the show will be airing on several local cable networks in NE Ohio as well (go to MCWPro.com to find out what cable networks it'll be airing on), so this show will be the first television taping for cable TV.  I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to this taping (God, I want to but I'm not sure I'm going to make it there), but in any case I want to help promote the event however I can effectively.  Here's some more information on this show:

DJ Logo - Gold on Black  

Believe me, this is a great wrestling product and worth supporting.  For more information on the show or MCW, go to MCWPro.com.

 -  This past Saturday, I went to the Circle Fest at Tallmadge Circle.  It was the first Tallmadge-related event I went to since I was in high school (I went to a 9-11 memorial service at Tallmadge Circle in 2002 but that wasn't really all that Tallmadge-related).  It was a pretty big event with thousands of people attending.  I didn't know what to expect especially since I hadn't seen too many people I knew from Tallmadge since I returned a year ago.  I have to admit...it wasn't what I expected.  Out of the thousands there, I saw a total of four people I recognized at the festival and only two I actually talked to...my former classmate Donielle who was bartending at Tallmadge's Firehouse Grille and my former neighbor Heather.  I didn't want to take up too much of their time but I did want to at least say hi to them.  Now, I have to admit, I haven't always looked at or thought of Tallmadge or many of the people here in the best light, especially with many of the experiences I had growing up here.  Those I did see in a good light, I approached or talked to (as I did with folks at Circle Fest)...those I didn't, I tried to ignore or would be erratic around them to try and scare them away.  It's not a pretty or comforting thought, I know, but that was the case and I'm no longer going to avoid acknowledging it because that was my history.  I can't change the past and I can't change my past, but what I can change is how I go forward.  In changing how I do that, at the festival I started seeing Tallmadge differently, or at least in a better light than I remembered.  There was a lot going on there and a lot of things to see that I hadn't been able to before.  I had a free coupon for one of those McDonald's Spicy Chicken McBites, but the McBites were more spicy "popcorn breading" than "popcorn chicken."  Sufficed to say I'm not having that for a meal again.  There were many different types of people there, the town being more diverse than I remembered it.  I saw one girl who looked like she was attempting a goth look but ended up looking like the love child of Marilyn Manson and Bozo the Clown (not trying to be cruel here...it was what I actually thought).  Tallmadge Circle was closed down to accomodate the festival and it was the first time I ever fully walked around the circle itself (on the road no less) after all the times I'd been in the area before.  I walked around several businesses and visited the old church in the circle and the old town hall.  While visiting the Olde Town Hall (that's what it's called), I had a rather long chat with a lady about Mike Bettes, the Weather Channel personality who was a Tallmadge High School alum and was also my resident floor advisor in my dorm during my 3rd year at Ohio State.  There were also a parade and fireworks at the festivities.  The parade took place after dark, which makes it the first night parade outside of Disney World I've ever seen.  It was a pretty long parade, maybe even longer than the Memorial Day parade they have every year (or longer than the ones I saw).  The circle was 5-7 people deep during the parade both inside and outside the circle with a lot of people searching for a decent place to watch it from.  I watched the fireworks from probably the best spot in the area to see them, the aforementioned Firehouse Grill that used to be the Bumpas Emporium a long time ago.  I had a really good time at the event and I think that both the changes in the town and the changes in my views helped make it that way.  BTW, I did take a bunch of photos of what I saw at the event (and only a couple of blurry ones...I guess I have a good daytime camera) which you can check out in my Google Plus album for the event:  08-18-12 - Circle Fest, Tallmadge, OH (Tallmadge Circle).

 -  After the first couple of preseason Browns games, I have a good feeling about the team this season.  There seems to be a lot of talent on both sides of the ball and a lot of rookies and newbies trying to step up big time to make the team during the regular season.  New ownership might be the reason for that.  This might be the first time in recent memory that there's going to be some tough cuts to be made before the roster is set and there will be teams seriously looking at some of those players.  They've won their first two preseason games...yes, I know they don't count, but they do matter in terms of how the team might look in the regular season.  People have dumped on the Browns for the longest time and some critics have them losing every game this year, but I think things are about to change for the better.  They are going to have a lot of first-year players on this team, but in this case that might be to the team's benefit.  I'm looking forward to the upcoming season and hoping for the best as usual.

 -  Song on Repeat:  "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.  This is a song I think everybody needs to listen to every once in a while, especially if you are suffering from something physically, mentally or emotionally.  There's a strange phenomenon that happens regarding me and this song.  I've found that after listening to this song repeatedly for a period of time and then get sick of listening to it and stop playing it, whatever thing I'm suffering from seems to ease a bit.  I don't know if this happens to anybody else but this is the only song I know of that has this effect on me.  No other song I know of does this...it's weird.


 -  SLP to the following:  Ernest, Holly, Todd, Aunt Sue, Debbie, Dave, Cory, Christian Vaughn, Sean Mason, Bob, Lynn, Micah, Aunt Sandi, Diane (congrats on your nuptials), Donielle, Heather D. & Tony C.

That's it for this edition.  I know I've been on a blogging streak as of late but I'm not sure when I'm doing the next one.  Until then, I look forward to the feedback anybody has about wherever I can promote DJRT (outside of where I already do, of course).  Until next time, folks....take care and God Bless.

DJ
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Random Thoughts #110 - the "five & ten" edition

Greetings once again and welcome to the latest edition of my Random Thoughts.  I honestly didn't expect to put up another one this early but a lot has happened and I have a lot of thoughts, so with that in mind...enjoy.

 -  I know I've talked about some rather thorny issues for me (and maybe others) in the past couple editions of DJRT.  I've probably gotten a little more personal than people probably wanted or expected me to be, and I understand that.  I still don't know what people think about that stuff, but I am glad I got it out especially since it's been stuff I've wanted to get out for a long time now.  Something to know about me is that throughout my life I've always had trouble expressing myself in both speaking and writing.  That includes trouble with saying the "right" words at some given moment and especially knowing and finding the actual words to express what I truly mean or want to say.  I've gotten better at doing so over the past few years, which DJRT has really helped me with, but it'll probably always be a work in progress.  I attribute a lot of that to difficulties I had growing up which I had no control over and also some of the fears that come from stuff I talked about in the last edition.  When the words come to me and they actually fit what I want to say and mean, it's an amazing thing and an absolute blessing.  Speaking of that last edition, I wouldn't have been able to express that stuff the way I did if it were two months ago...for the edition before that, maybe six months before that.  A lot of things I talk about in DJRT I wouldn't have even been able to come up with the words for even five or ten years ago (note: this blurb is not the reason for this edition's subtitle...I'll get to that in later blurbs).  It amazes me continually that I'm able to express myself the way I do and come up with the words I need to say because growing up I was so scared to or I was outright scared off by other people from doing it (the landmine thing).  I think a lot of you would be surprised at how many people have gone to great lengths to avoid things I say or actually try to prevent me from saying just because saying it MIGHT make something real, much less outright making it so.  It's an awful lot of people and sometimes it's done for the most unbelieveable of reasons, but it's still something I will probably continue to struggle with because I don't want to set someone off accidentally again.  Now, please keep what I just said in mind as what I'm about to say next is mainly intended for a specific audience.  It's something that anybody might be able to take something from (including me down the road), but for now I hope that this audience gets what I'm trying to get across.

Last year around this time, I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life and that was to move away from a place I called home for a long time, Columbus, OH.  A major reason for that was the quality of my overall life there was declining.  Aside from the reasons I mentioned in the "requiem" edition last year, the only things I really had going for me were DJ's Random Thoughts and my friends there...that was it.  As time wore on, it dawned on me that things that I use to be able to do when I returned there back in 2004 I wasn't able to do, or in some cases even capable of doing, any longer.  That included going to particular places, how I dealt with people, getting decent work, having a social life, making a living that was worth living...none of that was working out or going to happen where I was.  Realizing all that hurt me so much...it was a serious punch to the gut.  I was no longer the person (outside of personality-related stuff) that I was when I originally returned.  In order to even have a shot at reversing that and hold onto what I value so dearly including my hopes and dreams, I had to make a decision I never thought I would have to make.  In moving back in with my family, I had to give up much of the independence I cherished so much from being out in the world.  That has been REALLY hard to swallow.  I also had to leave behind the friends I made or already had in central Ohio, though I've been extremely fortunate to be able to keep in contact with most of them through Facebook and other means and hope that continues to be the case.  In essence, I had to circle the wagons and try to get myself right again.  I've been fortunate here in that I got to reconnect with friends up here and make some new ones as well as get myself interested in a couple of things I wouldn't have been able to had I not moved back here (and maybe get myself involved in if the stars align, one that's wrestling-related, one that's football-related).  I may be close to bottoming out soon and potentially moving forward with my life again...at least that's what I'm hoping for.  The hopes I've had before are starting to return and I've got so many of them...I want to date and have a girlfriend again, maybe even get married and have children; I want to make a difference in the world and in the people around me in good ways and for the greater good; I have so much I want to do with DJ's Random Thoughts, the brand, the concept...as I talked about several times before, I want to do a ton more with it and maybe make a living through it someday (and for those of you who I've talked to privately about this, please don't reveal anything about what I'm planning on because I don't want to give that info out before the time is right and I absolutely do NOT want to be jinxed).  In the meantime, I'm still in circled wagon mode and might be for some time.

Throughout all this, I've been taking a page I've used before from a parable in the Bible, namely the Parable of the Sower.  It talks about mustard seeds as faith, but in this case I'm using it in a more literal sense.  The seed I planted in Columbus withered, so I'm now in the process of working on planting another one elsewhere...I don't feel like I've planted it just yet, but I am looking to do so.  So what does everything I've said in this blurb so far have to do with the "specific audience" I mentioned earlier?  Well, these particular people are going through or about to make some life-changing decisions and actions in a manner similar to what I've been going through.  Those folks may or may not be able to circle the wagons like I've been able to, but the decisions and the changes they're planning to make are no less important to them as the ones I've had to make for myself.  For you folks about to make these changes, I have some tips which may already be known but I'm putting them out there just in case for you to keep in mind.  First, be patient.  Some of these things are going to take time to adjust to even if you might already be in the mental state to do so.  Also, be aware and understanding of the people around you and your surroundings while you make these changes.  I know firsthand that change is hard for people in general to adjust to, especially when it's not clear why the change has to happen.  Some people may be understanding, some may not be, and some may just be outright confused...it's bound to happen.  Some folks might get so put off or upset about the changes that they might act or speak differently around you as a result.  It's happened to me and it's something that could possibly happen to you.  Something else to be aware of is how any changes might affect you personally, professionally, etc.  You may have already thought that through, but it doesn't hurt to take stock of where your head is at from time to time.  You don't want to lose yourselves in the middle of any changes you make.  I can't stress enough that first point...being patient.  That might be the most important tip I can give here.  As far as I'm concerned, those of you I'm speaking to and about here...I just want the best for you and to make sure you're going to be alright if you're going to go through with changes.  Stuff like this isn't always going to be easy (sometimes it might be, but I can't think of any instances right now), so I'll keep praying for you to come out better off in the end.

 -  Half of the reason for this edition's subtitle, the "five" part, is that around five years ago this month I started writing and sharing my opinions online.  Starting in August of 2007, I started writing an irregularly scheduled blog for the website ProgressOhio that had some of my political ideas and leanings (posts I made for that site are included in the Past Editions link in the menu; they are chronological in order).  After a few months, I was starting to sour on talking about just political stuff so I took to my then-Myspace account in early 2008 and started a blog there which contained several blog entries, most simply titled Random Thoughts.  In mid-2009, I started the transition over to Blogger, made the "DJ's Random Thoughts" blog title official, and phased out the Myspace blog and ultimately my entire Myspace account.  It's hard to believe I've been writing in some capacity online for around five years now.  I don't know exactly what the future will hold, but whatever it holds I am certain DJ's Random Thoughts will be a major part of it.

 -  The other half of the reason for the subtitle, the "ten" part, has something to do with a lot of the personal issues I'd been facing up to that point.  Those issues led me to drink for a while and ultimately cost me a job.  Around this time ten years ago, I was entered into a program called ITS that was supposed to help people with issues like those I was facing.  The program changed my life.  It helped me see some things differently than I had before and taught me a couple of things about people in general I never really understood growing up that I still utilize to this day.  ITS helped open me up to things I hadn't seriously considered before, including returning to college, opening myself up more to people (that's been a mixed bag), and expressing myself.  I don't know where my life would have went had I not entered that program ten years ago.  It may have saved my life.

 -  It's hard to believe, but the Cleveland Browns start their preseason this Friday night against the Detroit Lions.  They have a new owner in Jimmy Haslem who is now in the process of dumping his minority shares in the rival Pittsburgh Steelers to take control of the Browns.  He seems like a really passionate and public guy unlike the Lerners who seemed distant.  It's going to be interesting to have him as an owner.  I'm really optimistic for a good season this year and hope it comes to pass.

 -  As far as the Ohio State Buckeyes football team goes, this is pretty much a lost season for the group since they are ineligible for postseason play thanks to past troubles.  I'm still gonna watch them and cheer them on, but it's sad that this group has to suffer due to the actions of others.  In any case, I also cheer on two other football teams in different conferences.  Ironically, I just found out one of those teams is also ineligible for postseason play...just my luck there.  Oh well...Go Bucks!

 -  Last Wednesday I went to downtown Akron to see President Barack Obama speak.  It was the first time I had ever seen an actual president in person...I've seen candidates but never an actual president.  Regardless of where people stand politically, seeing the actual president of the United States speak live is a big deal.  The president is one of the most powerful people in the world and the chance to see him speak was something I did not want to pass up.  It was exciting to see him, though I ended up standing or walking in some capacity for five hours straight so I was tired by the time I got home.  It was an exciting time nonetheless.

 -  Last weekend I went to the downtown riverfront area of Cuyahoga Falls to celebrate the first evening of the weeklong bicentennial celebration.  The city had the Crooked River Festival on that first night.  I went early so I could get a good parking spot and it was lucky I did because there was a huge crowd and barely any good parking spots after around 7 or so.  Besides taking pics of the festival and checking out the stuff going on there, I walked down Portage Trail and back for about an hour.  I'm now starting to see some possibilities regarding Cuyahoga Falls, but I'm gonna hold off on exploring those until I get myself more squared away.  At nightfall there was a great fireworks display.  It was the first time I ever saw orange-colored fireworks...I've seen other colors before but never orange so that was interesting.  Overall, I had a good time last weekend.

 -  I've been taking pics of events that have been going on, but some of them look like others I've taken before so I'm holding off posting albums for those photos for now unless there's some great demand to see them.  That includes stuff from the last two blurbs and 4th of July stuff.  If there's a unique event, I'll definitely post that album but for most events I'm going to hold off.  I'll still be using the DJRT Google Plus page when and if I do post them.

 -  Song on Repeat:  "Every Little Thing I Do" by Soul 4 Real.  This was one of the songs I used to dance to a lot back in the day (the 90's specifically) and it's a song I still listen to regularly today.


 -  SLP to the following:  Ernest, Kristin, Bob, Lynn, Holly, Fran, Rhonda, Maggie, Dave, Tom R., Jack, Cory, & Daryl.

That's it for this edition.  It looks like things will be picking up here soon so that might mean I'll be writing more frequently...maybe.  Until next time, folks.  Take care and God Bless.

DJ
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