- The reason for the subtitle, "not dancing," is that it's been over one full year since I've stepped foot inside a dance club. I hadn't been out that much before then but this is the longest period of time since I entered college that I haven't actually been into a club. The last time I went I twisted my ankle so bad I was off my feet for a month and at least sore for three months. My current situation doesn't allow for me to go out that much right now but like I said last time I've been getting the itch again to do stuff. I've been away from the club scene for so long I have no idea what's hot in the clubs anymore or even what's playing since I don't listen too much to new music on the radio and I pretty much just listen to my mp3s. Shoot, it's actually been longer than that since I've had a beer and that wasn't even a conscious decision on my part...I just haven't had one. If I do go out again, and I might at least once within the next month or two if the stars align, I'm going to be extremely rusty and possibly feel somewhat out of place because I haven't been out in so long. One full year...wow. Never would have thought that.
- There's something I've been dying to talk about for a while but to do so I have to talk about and reveal some stuff that might accidentally step on some people's toes or ruffle some feathers and even have some look at me funny or get sensitive around me if they're not doing so already. In order to make the point I want to make, though, I'm going to have to take some personal risks here. With that in mind, let me start by saying that I am in general a reactive type of person. What I mean by that is that the main way I approach most things in my life is to react to what goes on around me. I don't usually initiate too many actions on my own. I've done so, but not that much. In other words, I'm reactive as opposed to being proactive. In being that way, there have been a lot of instances...and I mean a lot of instances...where I have reacted badly to things, to the point where people even close to me sometimes seem to look over their shoulders at me because of my reactions. In some cases, they don't even know what I'm reacting to, just that I'm reacting badly to something, especially when point A doesn't seemingly lead to point B. I've been label "super sensitive" by some who feel they have to tiptoe around me just to even talk to me. I understand that but it doesn't make things easy for anybody. There is something that could probably account for what I would estimate 90 percent of why I react badly in a lot of those situations. I've alluded to it and talked about related subjects but I've never directly talked about this before because I was afraid of the consequences of saying anything about it even though it's something that bugs me to no end and gets to me almost every time it happens.
Before I go on, let me say this right now...I've got some absolutely awesome friends like Bob, Lynn, Todd, Ron, and Ernest; friends I've made in the clubs and church that are great like Holly, Mindy, Kristin, Dave, Griff, Cara, Cheryl, Cory...that's a long list in itself; friends and acquaintances I've made through the Browns Backers and MCW like Steve, George, Scott, Shasta, Justin Mane, Zach, Micah...another long list I could go on with; of course I don't want to forget my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) who have helped me through some of the roughest times especially the past three years. Those folks are some of the greatest people I know, care about, & look up to and what and who I'm talking about in the next paragraph is absolutely NOT about them whatsoever.
With that out of the way, let me tell you what and who I'm talking about: I'm sick and tired of people who think they can just walk all over me and marginalize me or put me down for whatever reason and expect me to just take it, especially when I'm not able to do anything about it which has been the case way too many times to count. Sometimes those people will claim they're just being "a friend" when they're being anything but that. Sometimes I have to be around those types because I don't have a choice in the matter. I've had a history of being picked on and bullied by many of these folks in some fashion, some in the name of self-righteousness or some superiority they obviously don't have since they resort to use bully-style tactics to get what they want. I've been lucky there's only been a couple of times it's gotten physical, but it still gets to me. There have been way too many people throughout my life that have been this way...former classmates, former friends, former co-workers, especially some former bosses (except for my Sears manager Mike & my former Delaware Red Cross directors...they were cool and absolutely great to me and I can't say enough good things about them), even strangers in the club or in public. These folks seem to mistake my kindness for weakness and pounce like vampires out for blood. It's one of the things that factors into why I feel I'm not that social a person. It doesn't help that I'm not really that good in dealing with those folks and it shows. It's gotten so overwhelming at times I would have to go and hide from the world until I could gather my bearings again, sometimes for long stretches. I want to avoid these people at all costs. I've never been good at dealing with these folks when this happens...after the fact, lots of what-if and shoulda, coulda, wouldas, but not when it happens. It also seems I'm a magnet for those folks. I end up avoiding things or even avoid going out to places or events for fear of having to deal with those kinds of people and their crap. If I seem out of sorts or upset, nine times out of ten it's because I'm reacting to someone who tried or did walk all over me. It hits me really hard when I end up taking it out on myself or, God forbid, people I care about. It also hits me hard when I'm the one accused of walking all over someone. That in particular is something I have trouble processing when it happens given my own experiences. I hate, hate, HATE being walked all over...you want a pet peeve, that's a big one.
What I just said was simply prologue to what I'm wanting to get at here with this blurb...and it's not about me. Thankfully I'm not in a situation right now where I'm having to deal with anybody trying to walk all over me (at least not intentionally). Unfortunately, there are several of my friends who are, mostly some of my female friends. If you think I hate it when I get walked over, it especially gets to me when it happens to any of my friends. One of my female friends is dealing with some lady accusing her of going after her boyfriend when she's not and being stalked online by this lady in the process. Another is dealing with a former friend talking trash and turning their back to them (I'm familiar with that scenario). Yet another is dealing with medical complications and the workplace they work at is showing no sympathy whatsoever. I've really noticed this kind of stuff happening over the past couple of weeks and I can't help but sympathize with my friends who are affected by this right now. I wish I could do something to help and make it better even though it may not be my place to do so. Some of my friends, God bless them, are handling these issues better than I ever could, but all the same I hate that this is going on in their lives right now. Regardless of what's going on with me or my sensitivities or pet peeves or what not, if any of my friends reading this feel like they're getting walked over by other people and need to talk, let me know.
- Changing the tone from the last blurb, I can finally reveal the thing I couldn't talk about in the last edition that made me go "whoa!" Here it is...over the weekend my sister Katie got married. When I heard this was going to happen, I didn't know when so I wanted to hold off until it did. Now that it has, I want to congratulate my sister and her new hubby (my new brother-in-law) on their marriage.
- Over the Memorial Day weekend, I got to go to MCW Mayday in south Akron. It was yet another great show and this time out I sat in the front row. I decided not to take any pictures for this show because my cellcam isn't the most reliable for taking pics and I just wanted to enjoy the show and get into it. Because there was a show a week earlier, I was behind on some of the latest developments for MCW but I caught up pretty quickly. Rhino, the last champion of the original ECW and former WWE and TNA star, made his debut for the company and the show from top to bottom was awesome. I don't want to give away the results of the show because they will be playing out on MCW Riot TV at MCWpro.com over the next few weeks. While I was there, since I've been getting more and more into MCW I also joined the Riot Zone, the official fan group for MCW. After the show I went to the afterparty at Green Diamond Bar & Grill in Barberton where I got to talk to a lot of the wrestlers and staff. I learned a lot more about the wrestlers themselves just from talking to them and it was fun just to hang out with them. MCW's next event will be their "extreme rules" show which will take place in late July in Akron. I am going to do what I can to help bring people to that show. The wrestlers and the MCW staff put on a top notch show and I'd love for those of you who haven't experienced MCW yet to come out and watch it live. When I get more details on that show I will pass them along here and on my social media accounts. Believe me, it's a great time being at an MCW event.
- I've got a couple of blog-related things to pass along. I've added a few links over the past months to the Links page for some of my friends. Check them out when you get the chance. Also, I decided to join a social media stock market "game," for lack of a better term called Empire Avenue. I am hoping to get more exposure for DJRT through this game and get the word out there about the blog. To find out more about it go check out the site which I linked to the title a couple sentences before.
- Lots of busyness today...get dinner, take the trash out, have multiple discussions with people...and that doesn't even include the blog. I haven't even done my normal internet stuff yet. Oh well.
- Along with games I already play on Facebook, I've added one more: Marvel: Avengers Alliance. I got introduced to it by one of my friends and it's already in my top 3 games on there that I like to play regularly. I tell you, some of those games can get addictive.
- I forgot to talk about this last time...once again I have upgraded my Ubuntu OS to the "Oneiric Ocelot" version, the one before the current version. I have no idea what "oneiric" means or what an "ocelot" is, but at least my system still works. I was worried that it wouldn't. Down the road, I'm still gonna have to get a new computer (likely a laptop) but at least I can still get some mileage out of this one for a while longer.
- Song on Repeat: "Everything" by Lifehouse. It's a song that's been used on Smallville twice (once for a prom, once for their 200th episode "Homecoming"). When the song comes up on my playlist, I will usually put the song on automatic repeat. Here's the song (it is a little long, about 6 min):
- SLP to the following: Debbie, Al, Bill Martel, Bobby Beverly, Micah, Minka, Shasta, Christian Vaughn, Larry Lavender, Jessicka Havok, Zach & the rest of the MCW Riot Zone crew, MCW, Holly, Pastor Cory, Griff, Dave, Marcus D., Anna, Mindy, JamDawg, Diane, Ernest, Jenny K., Cheryl, Jay, Michelle, and Kristin C.
That's it for this edition. I'm going to do the rest of my internet stuff now, so I'm taking off. Next time I hope to have more about the next MCW show along with the usual seriously wacky stuff I talk about...or is that seriously wacked stuff? That I can't tell you, but until next time, folks. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
