- There are a lot of things I could have started off with today and even went through a couple of subtitle changes before settling on the one I'm using here for this edition which I'll talk more about in a later blurb. However, I wanted to get this particular subject out of the way first because some of what I'm going to talk about hits pretty close to home for me personally and given some recent events I feel compelled to talk about it regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me. Recently there were a couple of suicides in the celebrity world. A contestant from the reality show "The Bachelor", Gia Allemond, and the actor Lee Thompson Young both succumbed to the temptations of escape that they likely believed would come from committing such an act. When thinking about this subject, I think of Don Cornelius who was suffering from health complications before he passed. When I was a teenager in high school there was one person I knew that did it (not from school), a couple of people in the past several years I had to help steer away from doing so and, of course, there was my own attempt at it during my senior year of high school that I talked about in a previous edition. I'm not sure what it's like for others but I have trouble even coming to terms with saying the actual word "suicide" because saying it makes it real. However, the suicides and attempts are not what I want to focus on but they are relevant in that they are most likely the end result of the actual subject I want to talk about today. That subject is shame and of being ashamed, in relation to mental health issues. I couldn't actually define the word "shame" off the top of my head but I certainly know what it's like to feel ashamed and I'm pretty sure many of you know too. In the examples I brought up earlier, I surmise that shame played a major part if not a primary role in why those events happened or almost happened. Now, I'm only guessing in some of those examples (I'm certain in the others) that mental health issues heavily factored into the shame itself but I can't think of any case where it hasn't. Shame is a pretty powerful thing in relation to mental health, especially for those people dealing with mental health issues who are high functioning. How you dealt with something, how you didn't deal with something, how you failed to meet expectations, how you deviated from the norm, how you did or didn't show up somewhere, what you are or what you aren't...those are some of the everyday thoughts and events that can bring about a feeling of shame. To someone struggling with mental health issues, jobs, friendships, relationships, upcoming or past events, or whatever along with it...it can be traumatizing. Let me give you an example involving me: I'm into women. I've been absolutely crazy about many of them I've come across in my life. I feel lucky if an attractive woman comes over to me and gives me a halfway decent conversation...those times I feel like I'm blessed and there have been some close friendships that have developed from some of those convos. I also imagine myself having a wife, being with her and having a life with her. But let's face it...I'm not the greatest or most attractive guy and I have mental health issues. I'm also not an intentionally forward person who can just go up to a woman and hit on her...that's just not me. When I've been with some of my more "forward" friends in the clubs or elsewhere, I've been made painfully aware of how I am and shamed because I wasn't doing what they were doing to get a girl. I have to admit there were many times where I was as envious as I was equally horrified about how they were able to get women or girlfriends or even wives. It got to the point where one person actually asked me point blank if I was gay....I'm not, but the fact that they felt they had to ask such a question made me feel even more ashamed that I wasn't more like whatever was considered normal. On top of that, I was even more ashamed that despite shared interests, that because of the sometimes radically different approaches we had regarding women I couldn't really hang out with them as much. Can you see the pattern in my example? Shame can build, sometimes rather quickly, and for people with mental health issues already it can be outright paralyzing. Regarding getting help for it, it's a dilemma in itself where it's "damned if you do, damned if you don't" where going to get help can bring about its own complications that are just as potentially crippling as not getting any help whatsoever. You feel trapped, stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame even over small things. And don't get me started on those people who say "just get over it" or "just do something about it" or advise confronting it head-on...you want to talk about bringing on shame in that person, saying stuff like that will definitely bring it. It's paralyzing. It's alienating. It's complicated. It's frustrating. I'm there now as I've been many times before. Shame has led to some tragic consequences and I don't want to see anybody I care about get stuck in it, hence me being compelled to talk about it here.
- Another subject I considered dedicating a subtitle to has to do with a recent article I came across regarding why John Cena is booed so much in WWE. This article inferred that there weren't any real heel antagonists in the company so the adults turned their booing toward Cena. I have my own thoughts on that. My first thought was that the writer of the article was full of crap regarding no real heels. Currently there is the Shield, Zeb Colter and his Real American faction, the current general managers of Raw & Smackdown, the Wyatt Family, Alberto Del Rio, and even recently both Triple H and Randy Orton...the company is chock full of strong heels, so that's not an issue. I believe the reasons why Cena is so booed and likely even despised by fans run deeper than that. Before I go on, I want to note that I am conflicted about my own feelings on John Cena. I admire his work for Make-A-Wish and he does decent ring work beyond his Five Moves of Doom in matches. There are times where I admire his dedication and loyalty to WWE and dreaming of being a WWE superstar while growing up. However, that last point does sometimes serve as a double-edged sword. He has proverbially beat people over the head with that little factoid without regard to all those other superstars in the company who also dreamed that same dream and weren't given what he was. That has irritated me when he's done that. Ultimately, I think WWE itself has contributed greatly to the Cena booing phenomenon. Understand that when the Monday Night Wars ended over a decade ago, WWE changed how its shows were produced and they all became completely scripted from beginning to end. John Cena was the best candidate to exemplify what it meant to be a WWE superstar in that production environment. The commentators pushed him to the moon as if he were the second coming of Jesus who also happened to be doing the 12 Great Labors to boot. The merchandising primarily focused on stuff he was associated with...armbands, colorful t-shirts, hats, foam fingers, the works. He was a fresh novelty for the company with the end of the Attitude Era and was on the road to greatness, capturing the hearts of children and women in the process. However, I noticed by the time he won his first world championship that novelty started to wear off. The company kept promoting him to the moon and still does so even whenever he is gone. The production style WWE started using created some very stale writing and stifled dialogue that made Cena come off sometimes embarassingly silly when he spoke. He did do some amazing things early on in his rise to stardom like lift super-heavyweights and top rope moves that were pretty incredible to watch. However, as he kept doing that same stuff over the years, the commentators would still act all incredulous and oversell those feats even though he's done it over and over again which started making them look foolish whenever Cena's name comes up or whenever they tried to glorify him. For a long time, the only merchandise that was selling was Cena's which was only because they only promoted his stuff and not so much that of other superstars. It also seems like WWE is overpushing celebrity and outside endorsements of John Cena as someone great if not greater than Steve Austin, The Rock and even Hulk Hogan, like they were desperate to show him as some type of current cultural relevant figure...in other words, Cena was the "it" guy. It also appeared that every person in the company or anybody wanting to associate with WWE has to pay fealty to Cena or their position or relation in WWE was seriously threatened or terminated outright. Various peoples' credibility has started to show strain from some of the Cena-praising done over the years, espeically where it made no sense to do any. I wouldn't be surprised if that led to Cena thinking he was a standard given the amount of coverage he's been given and started getting too comfortable in his "spot" at the top. He has already stated that he wasn't changing his gimmick or way he does things at all which he hasn't really done since he first became a babyface. In a sports entertainment industry that thrives on those kinds of changes happening every so often, that comes off as abrasive and counterproductive. I believe all of that oversatuation of John Cena after the novelty wore off is getting more and more to fans as it goes on. I'm even starting to see it from children. They have made some changes to the production and merchandising ends, with no small thanks to Triple H, the chief operating officer of WWE (legit, not kayfabe), that might help to reverse some of the troubling issues from the past 10 years he's been on top. Also, John Cena will be off the table as he is recovering from elbow surgery over the next few months. As much as WWE has needed John Cena and he helped them through the transitions from the aforementioned Attitude Era and Monday Night Wars, it might be time to move on past John Cena if they are actually going to move forward with the company. I'm not saying he should leave but I don't think they should put such a heavy focus on him much longer especially if the fan booing after having Cena shoved down their throats for so long leads to instability or some kind of outright revolt against the company itself. It happened in WCW, so there is a precedent.
- Okay, now the reason for the subtitle chosen for this edition. Most of you are aware of some of the moves I've done on the dance floor. Apparently I got a reputation from that...sometimes a good one, sometimes not a good one. Anyway, one of the types of music that inspired me to dance in the first place was "New Jack Swing", hence the inspiration for the subtitle. The term "new jack swing" was coined by Teddy Riley, producer and performer in the groups Guy, Wreckx N' Effect, and Blackstreet. It was a fusion of R&B, hip hop, rap and dance pop along with some ballads that hit its height in the late 80s into the mid 90s. The acts primarily associated with new jack swing included the aforementioned Guy, Bobby Brown, Keith Sweat and Bell Biv Devoe, though the style itself actually derived from collaborative production efforts in the mid 80s from The Time, Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, and Janet Jackson. Due to similarities in their musical styles to new jack swing, performers such as Babyface, Kid 'N Play, Heavy D & The Boyz, MC Hammer, Color Me Badd, R Kelly, SWV and so many others were often mentioned in the same breath as those new jack swing artists. In the 90s it wouldn't be surprising if a remix of a particular song using a new jack swing-inspired beat would outshine and overshadow the original version of that song. A lot of it was light-hearted fun, just something to dance to. When it comes to dancing, these are my roots. New jack swing was my inspiration. The music helped me to navigate through some tough spots in my life or at least forget the rough waters if just for a little while. It brought me a lot of friends and some attention. If I had something I needed entrance music for, something new jack-inspired would be the most likely thing to come to my mind. Sometimes this is what got me through a day if I needed it to. As the late 90s came with the rise of gangsta rap and boy bands, the new jack swing style faded out slowly over the next few years. You might hear some things inspired from new jack swing from time to time, but it is nothing like it was back in the 90s. Something to note about me personally that I realized over the past few days is that when new jack swing starting waning, my interest in clubbing overall started slowly drying up. I never felt as inspired in my last few years of clubbing as I felt at what I believe was my height in the early and mid 90's. I'm not sure it has to do with the style drying up itself but I do believe I was slowly losing touch with my roots which led to my trying different things to make up for that loss as well as that recent clubbing disillusionment. I feel like I'm finally reconnected with those roots but it's an odd feeling in that I still feel like I'm living in the here and now. Don't get me wrong...it has sparked nostalgia but not to the extent where I want to relive or go back to the past. Granted, there were some amazing times due to this music, but I can't help but look forward. I don't know where this rediscovery of my roots is going to lead me but I have to admit it's a gratifying feeling to get something back I've been missing for so long.
- DJ Customs: Speaking of nostalgia, I created a pic that I had shared on Facebook with my friends there that I thought I'd share here. In the late 90s/early to mid-2000s when I went to Club Dance, there was a group of us that informally called ourselves the "Corporation" which was inspired by the WWE wrestling faction of the same name...ah, the memories. It's a ten-year-later inspired pic (one photo taken in 1998, the second taken 10 years later) using some new tricks I learned to use with my GIMP image editor. Here's the pic in all it's glory:
- Moving on to the present, recently I was able to go to this year's Tallmadge Circle Fest. This year was more crowded than last year but was really exciting. I took in a performance at the old church on the Circle put on by friend of the family and former drama teacher Frank Chaff. I got to catch up with an old friend I hadn't seen since high school and checked up quickly on another going through a really rough time right now. I think I saw more of my former teachers from high school at this event than at any other time since I graduated high school 22 years ago. I got to eat a really good taco salad at the new Mexican restaurant called Nuevo Acupulco that replaced the old Erie St. Grille. I had a really good time there this year.
- After some delays, the dams in the Cuyahoga River in Cuyahoga Falls are now gone. I took a quick trip to see them after Circle Fest and the river looks so different with the dams gone. I'm gonna have to take a trip there during the daytime soon to really see the changes.
- Summer is almost over and autumn is coming soon. Are you ready? I am and I'm not. Figure out which is which.
- Since their first preseason game, the Cleveland Browns have had a lot of ups and downs in the two games since. Their second game was great but their third was terrible. They have one more game in the preseason to shake out who the backups are going to be before the regular season but I do have hope for good things this upcoming season.
- It's hard to believe the the Ohio State 2013 football season starts this upcoming weekend. It snuck up on me but I'm looking forward to it especially given the undefeated season OSU had last year.
- I watched the MTV VMAs in full for the first time in years. I believe Kevin Hart said it best when he stated that Justin Timberlake killed it. His performance really knocked it out of the park and was probably one of the best VMA performances I've seen in years. The 'N Sync reunion was good for what it was given that it was put together at somewhat the last minute. Some people complain about the brevity of the reunion but I didn't have a problem with it since it was a part of a bigger production meant to honor Justin Timberlake for the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award. The reunion shouldn't have overshadowed that. Other performances I liked during the show were Macklemore's and Bruno Mars' performances. Overall, though, my impression of the awards show itself is that it came off all "corporate" and stuffy, for lack of better terms. The surprises and the things that were supposed to be outrageous felt really forced and off-putting, especially Miley Cyrus' performance and her grinding against Beetlejuice-wannabe Robin Thicke. Seriously, what was with that outfit anyway? Even though this year's show wasn't all that bad, I do believe that over the past few years the VMA's charm is eroding and that's a damn shame.
- I'm going to rant here so bear with me...something to keep in mind about social media is that what we decide to share and like reflects on us, sometimes in a good way and sometimes not. There has been a particular quote that has been floating around in GIF form as of late that I've seen several times that had gotten my attention...and not in a good way. The quote goes something along the lines that despite some condition someone is going through that "at least I don't have ugly children." Without going after anybody specifically, I have to ask who in hell would actually say something like that or click "like" on a quote like that or even pass along something that says that to other people? I mean, it's one thing to go after somebody directly or be frustrated with somebody or go on the defensive for whatever reason. To go after somebody's children...anybody's children...even in jest is just beyond me. It's bullying, generally heartless and it is beyond offensive. Let me put this in a slightly different perspective, one that I have actually seen people use. Let's substitute the word "ugly" with something else. How about "disadvantaged"? What about "wimpy"? What about "handicapped" or "disabled"? These are all words I've heard with that statement. I've also heard racially charged ones and those in reference to sexual orientation as well, specifically the "n" word and the "g" word respectively from some folks. The worst part is that I've seen people who have children being the ones sharing gifs with this quote. Some of those parents are the same people that moralize about how kids should be treated and shouldn't be labeled, especially their kids, but then they turn around and pass something like this along? Is this how you want to be seen...as a thoughtless tool of a hypocrite? I've seen the hurt similar quotes have done first hand so don't even try to blow smoke up my ass saying it's harmless when it's not. If some of those people were wondering why bad things happen to them and if it's karma...if they shared this quote, it is very likely karma is coming around to bite them in the ass. For heaven's sake, don't be naive or stupid by supporting something like this. It is NOT funny. Okay...rant done!
- Song on Repeat: "Don't Want To Fall In Love" New Jack Remix by Jane Child. People were entranced by this song in the 90s and the appearance Jane Child had in that time period (nose ring with a chain, a mohawk, etc), but the remixed version done with a new jack swing backbeat (I think done by Teddy Riley, but I'm not sure on that) is what captured my fancy given my roots. It was a hard version to find but I did find it.
- Shoutouts: Kristin, Cheryl, Bob, Lynn, Diane, Scotty, Maggie, Donielle (praying for ya), Mr. Chaff, Mrs. Antonucci, Dave, Debbie, Anna, Mindy, Daryl, Jim, Art, Rahn, Dani, DJ Legend, Cara, Griff, Shane D., and Cory.
This was probably one of the longest editions I've done in years and I had a lot to say this time out, but I do feel better after getting it all done here. It doesn't hurt that I got in touch with some of my roots. This was exhaustive so I'm gonna take off now. Until next time, folks. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
