- As you can tell by now, the layout and look of the blog have changed. In the last edition I said I was going to take my time to get the right look and find the right coding to make that happen in 2013. It figures that I would unexpectedly find the exact coding I needed to make that happen just two days after I wrote that, so I went ahead and made the changes. I wasn't even searching for the coding at the time...I had just happened to come across it during my regular web surfing routine. What you see here is how the site is going to be laid out (hence the subtitle) from this point forward. With the layout now complete, I can start working toward taking DJRT into the future I have been envisioning for it for a long time now. I've still got a long way to go on that and still have stuff to get to make that happen, but this was an important step in the process. As to some of the changes, I created a better site menu up top and moved the social media stuff previously found in the header into the new right-hand column. In that column I've also added a popular posts section showing the three most popular posts in the past 30 days, a section showing a sampling of DJRT's followers on Google Plus (I told you there were a lot of followers) and the DJRT Twitter feed. If you check out the home page, you will notice that there are now summaries of the editions as opposed to the entire editions that appeared in previous layouts. Since I post links to specific editions anyway when promoting them, it's not likely to be much of a change to long-time readers of DJRT but in cleaning up the home page I'll get a better idea of what you are all actually reading. I also upgraded the comment section at the bottom of each edition to fit in with the new look. I may make changes to the background and the header every once in a great while, but overall I am very happy with how the site now looks and operates.
- Something I've talked about since before I took the hiatus in 2011 is the fact that I'm at a crossroads in my life and have been for some time. I've talked about various aspects of it but I've had several questions asked of me lately as to what I'm specifically looking to do, either about where I want to work or where I'm going to live or why I'm not hanging out with that many people or, my favorite here (sarcastically speaking), why I'm seeming not doing all that much in getting my life together. The only answer I can give is that I still don't have a clue outside of DJRT what I'm going to be doing or where or when. That might frustrate those of you who've asked, but I can't honestly give answers I just don't have to give. As I've also talked about before, I haven't really known what I wanted to do with my life. I need to clarify that statement a bit.
I may not know what specifically I want to do with my life (again, outside of DJRT), but I do know what I want my life to be and what I want out of it. I'm not sure I've talked about this before in this way so if I'm repeating myself from any time before, so be it, but it's been on my mind a lot. Outside of things I may have said before about what I've wanted in the past, I don't really want to have a "full" life in that I have a super high number of things going on at any one time but I do want whatever life I have to be as fulfilling to me as humanly possible and fulfilling in general. I want to have one that's worth having on my own terms and to be able to live on my own terms without so many damned complications and obstacles, especially the ones I've had to face either currently or in the past. I want a life where I feel worthy of being on this world, doing good for it and for the people I care about and believe in, and to feel good about being worthy of it. I want a life where I can have the absolute best people around me regularly where we make each others' lives better and grander. There's a lot more than just that which I want that I haven't mentioned, but it's just not coming to my mind right now to write about here. Yes, that is a hell of a lot to ask for and rather selfish on my part and I'm not sure it's even possible but that's what I wish for. The only thing I know for certain is that I don't have that life.
Now there have been times where it's looked like I've had something resembling a "full" life but those were times where I was likely overburdened and stretching myself really thin. I've never been able to put together the kind of life I just described that I wanted and it's an ongoing concern of mine that it's likely not going to be able to happen. If you think that's depressing, I agree. There have been tons of bits and pieces scattered throughout my lifetime that I've wanted included in such a life and people who have wanted to see me "succeed" with my life, for lack of a better term, as well as others seeing the potential for something resembling that life, but for the longest time I've questioned whether I've truly had the capability to have such a life. This is the biggest thing that is fueling all this. It's something I've always questioned but it's really been hitting be hard the past year and a half or so. I'm hoping and praying for some good fortune here and trying to find the wisdom and courage to be able to make this all happen but it has been hard to come by.
- I do want to note one specific complication about that last blurb that has bugged me forever about this. I hear a lot of people talk about being underestimated about what they are able to do and their capabilities when talking about their lives. I have the opposite problem. There have been a lot of people who consistently overestimate and inflate what I'm able of do and I've had several act all incredulous and pouty when I don't do things I'm supposedly capable of doing. I'm guessing it might be something to do with the potential for me to do those things, but I think they are confusing potentiality with actuality and it drives me nuts when they do that. In some of these folks' cases, they've been around me for long enough of my life to know for certain that I'm not able to do some things and it baffles the hell out of me why they have such overblown expectations...makes me wonder where the hell they've been when they've been around me or at what point they checked out out of the Reality Hotel and into a sanitarium. Anyway...the point I have here is that I'm only capable of what I'm capable of and I'm not going to fool myself or force myself to believe otherwise for these folks' sake. It's not right for them, it's not right for me, and I wished they stopped pulling that stuff. I want to tell these people "Enough already!" (but again, the landmine thing I have).
- After the NFL regular season ended, the Browns fired Pat Shurmur as I expected, but I definitely did not expect them last week to hire new coach Rob Chudzinski. After looking at what new owner Jimmy Haslem and CEO Joe Banner were looking for in their new coach, "Chud" fits the mold of what they described they were looking for but I didn't expect them to go for someone who'd already been let go by the Browns twice before (not as a head coach, mind you, but still...). I have to admit I'm not super excited about this but I'm not super down about it either. I feel more "eh" at this point though I am encouraged of him being an actual fan of the Browns growing up, even going so far as to dreaming of being part of the Dawg Pound, and that he does know what it's like to be in Cleveland recently as opposed to, like, someone who twenty years ago was a ball boy with no inherent connection to the team or someone who was supposed to have an NFL-ready pedigree. I just hope that the Browns keep those players who have done a lot of good for them.
- In the words of the immortal KRS-One, I'm not saying I'm number one...oh, I'm sorry, I lied...I'm number one, two, three, four and five! That is all...
- I think it's becoming a yearly tradition in January to have one or two days where the temperature is in the 60's or 70's and the last couple of days have continued that tradition. I went out walking yesterday afternoon and I actually had to take off my jacket because it got so warm. A couple of years ago near New Year's Day I actually wore shorts. I enjoy the respites in the cold weather season but I hate it when they end because that means 2 more months or more of colder climate weather...boooooo!!!
- Speaking of being out, I went up to Chapel Hill Mall a couple days ago and saw something I never thought I'd lay eyes on: a hurricane machine. It sounds like a neat thing at first but given the massive storms of the past decade it might not be the best kind of thing to put out as a thrill in a mall. Here's a pic of the machine that I took to show that it actually exists:
- This is the first edition I've done probably since Osama bin Laden was killed that I did most of it off the top of my head without notes which I usually make before most editions. Doesn't happen that often but sometimes I like to improvise like that.
- Song on Repeat: "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down. The music video for this song featured the Geico cavemen and was used in Geico commercials, but it has particular meaning for me especially in light of what I talked about earlier. The song is about just being yourself without having to conform to what other people expect. I wonder how many of you have this sentiment sometimes.
- Shoutouts: Jenny K., Bill D., Dave, Holly, Kristen, Bob, Todd, Ernest, Ron, Carl, Katie, Cory, Maggie, Aunt Sue, and Paula.
That's all I have for this edition. The one thing I'm looking forward to at this point is watching the WWE Royal Rumble at the end of the month. The last two have been exciting so I have high expectations. Beyond that...who knows. Anyway, until next time, folks. Take care and God Bless.
DJ
